Hearing God's Voice

How to discern the voice of God is one of the most widely discussed topics for young Christians.

God gave me a big purpose for my life.  To unite the churches through music and the arts.  
This was not an easy task to even understand let alone undertake.  

So was it really from God?  How did I know?  What made me so sure?  Was it not arrogant to believe that God would call me, a new believer, to such an immense task.

Over the past year God has spoken to me many times through many different means.  

When I first heard the voice of God I did not know what it was, some kind of audible hallucination perhaps?  It was only when it kept happening that I began to believe it was really God speaking.  

Some people say God never really speaks to us.  By this I presume they mean "God", as in "God, the Father".  When I speak of God I mean God the Trinity; the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit.  Jesus says in John 5:37 "You have never heard his voice nor seen his form", so we can't argue with that.  

So therefore when we talk about hearing God's voice what we are really hearing is the Holy Spirit; the Comforter, the Counsellor.  

But there are so many spirits, how do we know that the voice we are hearing is of God?  

The only answer, especially for the new Christian, is to test it.  Not because we are doubting God, but because we need to practice the art of discernment.  In 1 John 4:1 it says, "Believe not every spirit, but try the spirits whether they are of God".  So in testing everything we are following God's explicit instructions.  

Everything that has been spoken to me has also been spoken to others who have given me the same message from God that has also been revealed to me through scripture.  

Many times, even prior to giving my life to Christ, I would get words, phrases, sentences in my head that just wouldn't go away.  When I told a few people from my church about this I discovered, much to my amazement, that they were verses from the bible.  Incredible since I had hardly read the bible at all.  

After receiving the instruction to "unite the churches", I did not tell a single person, believer or non-believer, as it seemed incredulous that God would speak to me about such things when I had no knowledge or understanding.  After only a matter of days I was given the same words by my friend Sophie in UK who I have known for nearly 30 years and by Pastor Hani Aziz of the Arabic Congregation at NEC, who told me that God had spoken to him about me before he had even met me.  

It still all seemed rather unreal at the time and I probably just about managed to thank them for their words of encouragement.  

Shortly after this series of unlikely conversations, God woke me up at 3am with the firm instruction to turn on the TV, implanted in my mind.  I had the TV set to TBN (Trinity Broadcast Network) and it went straight into a sermon by some famous preacher who was unknown by me at the time.  The guy was talking about unity... about uniting the church through brotherhood and friendship.  He spoke about how, although we were united through the body of Christ this was just a figure of speech and that our love of denominations had divided us so much so that Christ could not return because He would have to become an  adulterer in order to claim his bride.  This was an incredible moment when it suddenly all made sense to me.  

Now I knew that it was God I was hearing from.  He definitely meant me to do something about this.  I could not longer just sit back and pretend it wasn't happening.    

But I was still afraid to tell anyone in my church.  Afraid that I would sound crazy, or stupid.  That they would say that it wasn't God or that I had misunderstood in some way.

Then a great blessing came to Rivers in the form of Kevin and Nicole Van Ecke, a prophetic couple who ran a workshop one saturday morning in April.  During the workshop Kevin spoke about me, saying how God would use me, how I would bring many people to the church through my contacts in the arts and that the church needed more people like me.  He also spoke about my past, releasing me of my shame and giving me such a feeling of freedom to now go ahead and speak about what God had put in my heart that I spoke with our pastor Basie immediately about the plan for a Christian Arts Festival that God had given me earlier that week in a dream.  

Despite my previous worries I received full support from all the elders of our church, who never questioned whether I was really hearing from God.  I am truly blessed that God placed me amongst such wise and loving believers who have guided me faithfully as I began to walk the path that God had set out for me.

Dear Lord, Father God, who was, and is, and is to come.  Who knows every hair upon my head, who knew me before I was born, who knew the plans He had for me, to prosper me and not to harm me.  Lord, I give my life to you.  From this day forward, I am yours.  I surrender to you totally, in thought and word and deed.  Thank you for choosing me Father, thank you for entrusting me with the secret things of your Kingdom and for preparing me for your perfect love.  

I pray that I will always walk in your ways, that my words will be your words and that I will be guided by the Holy Spirit in all things. 

In Jesus' mighty name,

Amen

Obedience can save your life!

Anyone who has known me for more than a few months will probably have a good laugh at the very idea of me writing about obedience.

Being amongst the most disobedient people to ever walk this earth, I can see their point.  

In days gone by if anyone asked me to do something for them I would be reluctant.  My poor Mum will remember many occasions during my childhood where she would ask for my help and I'd make the excuse of needing to go to the loo where I would then sit for the next half hour or so until she would give up waiting for me. 

if I was told to do it I would stubbornly avoid any positive action if at all possible and if it was insisted upon I would undertake the task very ungraciously.  And if anyone ever dared to actually give me an order I would boil with anger at the indignation of it.  

I don't really know why I was so against authority from such an early age, but I do know that it grew in me like a bitter root and if anyone actually succeeded in commanding obedience from me then feelings of anger and hatred would take over.

I had zero respect for anyone placed in a position of authority above me.  Many memories come to mind of early reactionary traits during my primary school years.  I was without fear of consequence of any kind.  I remember one time the headmaster of my first school threatened me with a kind of cane stick with chains on it because I was so disobedient.  I'm sure he didn't intend to use it and was merely trying to frighten me.  However, it had the reverse effect and just made me extremely angry inciting me to run off, climb the boundary fence and wade across the stream behind the school.  Funnily enough I don't have any memory of the consequences of my actions, but then, I was just six years old at the time.

I was well known for my flouting of the rules and lack of respect during my time at this school.  However there was one teacher whom I would have done anything for.  She seemed to really like me for some reason.  If I remember correctly her name was Mrs Trump and she played the piano.  I think she was possibly the first person to inspire me in music.  I desperately wanted her to be my teacher but instead I had this horrid thin woman who didn't let me hold the baby hedgehogs or the baby rabbits because she thought I couldn't see straight as I had a squint.  In hindsight I think these incidents, which happened when I was only five years old, incited in me a real lack of respect for my elders as there was nothing wrong with my vision and, although I was young, I was far from stupid and considered her discrimination against me totally unjust.  

Even as I write this, tears spill down my cheeks as I feel the old anger and hatred that I've harboured all these years boiling up inside me again.  I haven't thought about this teacher for a very long time and only now, as these words unfold, do I realise that I'm holding onto massive unforgiveness against her.  I have to let it go.  God really has awesome ways of bringing to light the issues we have to deal with.  It's amazing how unforgiveness is the root of so many problems in our lives.  Little did I know when I started writing this blog post that I would have to deal with yet more unforgiveness from my past.  

It's easy to blame situations, unfairness and whatever else for the bad character traits which we allow to develop.  This simple fact was that I lacked respect for authority of any kind and the idea of being obedient or submissive to anything was completely alien to me.  Even as a child I had developed such an arrogance that I considered almost everyone to be beneath me and therefore the idea of taking orders from someone who was not my intellectual equal was absurd.

I hope I have not made any of my readers angry yet.  This is my past and I am now a new creation in Christ, I have put aside my old arrogant self and I am continually humbled by what God has done for me.

So why am I choosing to write about this topic?

Because I want to people to know the joy that can be found in obedience.  We are called into obedience by God.  This is not because God wishes us to be mindless followers without thoughts or opinions.  It is purely because God knows what is best for us, He is our Father and He loves us unfailingly.  

When I first came to know Jesus, God quickly revealed to me many things in my life which had to be dealt with.  I discovered that amazing feeling of freedom which came when, with God's help, I started to clean up my life.  After a fairly short time I came to realise that when I went against His wishes my life felt blighted and my actions would only bare bad fruit.  In those areas of my life where I was able to totally surrender everything to God I was blessed abundantly.  This was particularly evident in my finances and in the finances of my work projects.

I started to write this post two days ago, since then I have witnessed how amazingly God can protect us when we listen to His voice and the guidance of the Holy Spirit.

The night before last I had decided to go to bed at 12am which is early for me but I felt a sudden and very strong feeling that I should praise and worship God.  So I sat at the piano and started playing and singing some new songs that I'd printed out in the summer but hadn't had time to learn.  Before I knew it it was 2am!  Time for bed, most definitely.

I went straight to sleep and then, as I so often do, I felt God waking me up gently to encourage me to pray.  I always love this, it's one of the most exciting things I've ever experienced.  However, this morning I was just too tired, I found myself actually saying "no" to God, not a good idea.  I just couldn't believe that God would think that two and a half hours sleep was enough so I ignored the feeling in my spirit and went back to sleep.

Suddenly I felt myself being virtually shaken awake and it felt like God was pretty insistent this time so I opened my eyes and then panic gripped me.

I realised that the room was full of smoke and that I couldn't breathe.

I grabbed my sleeping son and dashed from the room.  I went to another part of the house but it was the same, there was no air, it was intoxicating, just noxious fumes making me want to vomit.  I ran out of the house and into the little house where my son's nanny, Mary, lived, just behind my house.   

Despite the fumes my son, Xavier seemed fine although I think he felt slightly nauseous because he didn't want his toast for breakfast which is normally his favourite.  I felt extremely sick but then, after praying and thanking God for his protection and for delivering us from certain death from smoke inhalation I began to relax and felt much better.

To be living under God's protection is an amazing gift but in one moment of disobedience to God I put my life and the life of my son in danger.  If God wants me to get up after only two hours sleep then there is a very good reason for it.  When God calls us into obedience it is because He knows what is best for us.  If we do not accept His will in our lives, His guiding hand through the Holy Spirit, then we cannot expect Him to protect us.  

When we are children don't our parents tell us not to play with electricity, not to cross the road without holding their hands.  If we are children of God then surely our Heavenly Father will do the same for us.  

Last night God protected me a second time.  Despite the air conditioners having been fixed I decided not to allow my son to sleep in the house.  I had a late meeting and when I came home I decided not to go to bed but to stay up and Skype my friend Sophie in UK.  So when again the poisonous fumes entered the house I was fully compus mentus and my son was safe in his Nanny's house.  Praise God.

So, apart from a couple of sleepless nights and hundred of dead ants, whose death is a testimony to the poisonous toxicity of the fumes, all is well and there was no trace of smoke on me, just as in the story of Nebuchadnezzar and the three Hebrews in the furnace.

"So Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego came out of the fire, 27 and the satraps, prefects, governors and royal advisers crowded around them. They saw that the fire had not harmed their bodies, nor was a hair of their heads singed; their robes were not scorched, and there was no smell of fire on them."  Daniel 3:27

This morning God gave me psalm 21 which I want to leave you with now.

I lift up my eyes to the mountains—
    where does my help come from?
2 My help comes from the Lord,
    the Maker of heaven and earth.

3 He will not let your foot slip—
    he who watches over you will not slumber;
4 indeed, he who watches over Israel
    will neither slumber nor sleep.

5 The Lord watches over you—
    the Lord is your shade at your right hand;
6 the sun will not harm you by day,
    nor the moon by night.

7 The Lord will keep you from all harm—
    he will watch over your life;
8 the Lord will watch over your coming and going
    both now and forevermore.

Praise the Lord our God for He is good.  Now and Always.  No weapon formed against us shall prosper.  If you call upon the name of Jesus you will be saved.

Amen

Giving is always good - don't you agree?

Where does the money come from that you have in your pocket?  Did it just happen to be there?  

Maybe you earned it, maybe you withdrew it from your account or got it out of the hole in the wall, maybe it's part of your inheritance from your Granny or just your monthly allowance from your parents.  Or it could be benefit money from the government if you're lucky enough to live some place where they hand out money.  Or maybe all of those things are the same.  The cash you have in your pocket is either money you have earned or money you were given.  Hopefully it's not money you stole.......

Let's take a step back.  All the money we have is what we have been given.  Even if we received it as salary for a job well done, it's still been given to us.  Sometimes we deserve every penny we earn, other times we don't even deserve half. 

So who gives us this money?  Our families?  Our employers?  Our friends? The government?  

Yes, this is of course correct but the bible teaches us that all material wealth comes from God.  So when we give away our supposed wealth, we are in fact giving away what God has given us.  Therefore when we give to God, through charitable donations, tithing and other financial aid we are in actuality giving back to God what is already rightfully His.  

1 Chronicles 29:10-16 says:

“But who am I, and who are my people, that we should be able to give as generously as this? Everything comes from you, and we have given you only what comes from your hand. We are aliens and strangers in your sight, as were all our forefathers. Our days on earth are like a shadow, without hope. O LORD our God, as for all this abundance that we have provided for building you a temple for your Holy Name, it comes from your hand, and all of it belongs to you.” 

So to question whether we should give to God through tithing seems somewhat absurd in the light of this.  

When I first found my faith in our eternal Saviour Jesus Christ, I did not want to give away any of my money.  Some might say that I lacked faith in this case.  It wasn't so much of a lack of faith, but a lack of knowledge, wisdom and understanding.  

It was very shortly after I received the Holy Spirit that God convicted me about tithing.  It kind of leapt up on me during one Friday morning service, so in my rash haste to atone for my lifelong lack of giving I put in all my rent money into the collection bags.  I can imagine some of my family and friends exclaiming in horror at my utter stupidity as they read this.  

It probably wasn't wise to throw in all that money in one go but I remembered in a flash how I'd been guilty my whole life of begrudging even a few pennies or fils when it came to collection time in any church situation.    

So, in it went.  And then, things started to happen.  I felt that it was now acceptable to start praying about my finances which needed a bit of help to say the least, and lo and behold God blessed me.  I asked God for wisdom in how to pray about such things, because to me, it just seemed wrong to ask God to give me money.  Then it came to me to ask God to provide me with new avenues to increase my income.  

After only a few days I got a phone call asking me to run a corporate team building workshop in African Drumming for a big company in Bahrain.  More such opportunities followed suit, plus opportunities for performing as a singer/pianist at weddings and events.  Within a few hours I had earned more than enough money to cover my rent for the month.  This was more than a coincidence, it was a miracle, a blessing from God.

After discussing tithing with other Christians, and through prayer and studying the word I continued to give regularly the 10% which is the amount often mentioned throughout scripture. 

Not being particularly knowledgeable in regards to God's Word I used the internet to research into giving and tithing and to find particular references in scripture.  It seemed to me that tithing was a very controversial matter with much disagreement, disharmony and disunity in the wider church.  

There are two times in the old testament that tithing is mentioned before the law of Moses was given.  These are in Genesis 14:17-20

"Then after his return from the defeat of Chedorlaomer and the kings who were with him, the king of Sodom went out to meet him at the valley of Shaveh (that is, the King's Valley). And Melchizedek king of Salem brought out bread and wine; now he was a priest of God Most High. And he blessed him and said, 'Blessed be Abram of God Most High, possessor of heaven and earth; and blessed be God Most High, who has delivered your enemies into your hand.' And he gave him a tenth of all."  

and in Genesis 28:20-22

"Then Jacob made a vow, saying, 'If God will be with me and will keep me on this journey that I take, and will give me food to eat and garments to wear, and I return to my father's house in safety, then the Lord will be my God. And this stone, which I have set up as a pillar, will be God's house; and of all that Thou dost give me I will surely give a tenth to Thee.'"

The fact that these offerings were made before the law means that they were voluntary just as our offerings are today.  

We are not under the law, we are under God's Grace.  Grace that was purchased through the blood of Jesus.  And therefore we do not give our tithe to the church because we are commanded to, but because we want to honour God.  

When I think about how God has changed my life I cannot believe that I'm only giving 10%.  God has changed my life by 100%, and yet I give only 10%?  Surely this is not right.  If I consider what God has done for me combined with the fact that all that I have, already belongs to God and cannot be taken with us into the eternal Kingdom, then I should be giving God more than half!!

God more than deserves this.  When we are a bit lazy in our work and check out our Facebook or call a friend on work time we still receive the same salary, even if we don't deserve it.  God is with me in everything, he never clocks off early or forgets about my needs and yet for most of my life I gave back nothing.  

So when I read how some Christians write about tithing being wrong and that if we take into consideration the tithing that went on pre-Moses then we should also be offering animal sacrifices as well, I am, quite frankly, horrified by their lack of wisdom, lack of understanding and lack of grace.

Giving can only ever be good.  

But on the other hand, giving should be exactly this; a gift.  There should be no coercion or guilt over giving.  As it says in 2 Corinthians 9:7

"Let each one do just as he has purposed in his heart; not grudgingly or under compulsion; for God loves a cheerful giver."

So let God put it into your heart.  You will know what to give when you have peace in your spirit from your offerings.  

I love the little story about the chicken and the pig.

One morning the two animals are strolling around the farm when they see a tramp sleeping rough in the barn.  He looks so bedraggled and forlorn that the chicken says to the pig; "Let's give him breakfast.  Let's make him bacon and eggs."
To which the pig replies:
"That's all very well, for you it's an offering, for me, it's a sacrifice".

An offering is giving what you can afford, a sacrifice is giving what you really can't do without.



Dear Lord,

Thank you for your Grace, Father God.  Thank you that you withhold nothing from us even though we are so unworthy.  Thank you that you bless us every day and that we can give back in return through our tithes and offerings.  Thank you for your wisdom in these matters and I pray that you will open the eyes of those that are blinded by poverty and greed and troubles of the world.  
Thank you that in a time of global recession and in times of financial struggle you are always our Provider, our Jehovah Jireh.  Lord you are my strength and my shield, an ever present help in times of trouble.

Father God, you are my rock, my fortress and my deliverer and I thank you Lord that I can surrender all my worries to you, for you did not give us a spirit of fear but of love, power and of a sound mind.  

In Jesus' Mighty Name,

Amen.

The poison of unforgiveness

Do you have unforgiveness in your heart?

Perhaps you think you are a forgiving person, but maybe there is still that one person you cannot forgive.  Or the idea of being able to forgive that particular person doesn't actually enter your consciousness maybe...

Today was an epic day for me.  Unresolved issues were resolved, issues that I didn't even know existed were dealt with.  

For the past few days I have been praying and fasting for a resolution over a work issue and today an opportunity arose to finish everything.  It was only after a satisfactory conclusion had been achieved and we were driving home did I realise that in God's eyes the matter was far from closed.  

Despite God blessing me with a speedy and fair resolution I still had unforgiveness in my heart. It hadn't even crossed my mind that I would have to forgive this person, so when my friend asked me if I'd prayed for her I was somewhat taken aback.  Of course I hadn't, I thought to myself, it was as much as I could do to speak her name without releasing a torrent of abuse.  There was clear unforgiveness here and suddenly I understood that in God's eyes this was a much more important issue than the details of a financial dispute.  

After trying to put it out of my mind for a good few hours I did the only thing that I could do under the circumstances.  I gave it to God.  I prayed and I wept for the unforgiveness and bitterness that had taken root in my heart.  

"Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.  Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you."  Ephesians 4:31-32

"Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone.  Forgive as the Lord forgave you."  Colossians 3:13.

Only last night I was reminding another friend of these verses to help her with unforgiveness, when in actual fact God really meant them for me.  He does indeed work in mysterious ways.

When unforgiveness takes root in your heart it starts to destroy you from within like a poison eating away at all your goodness.  And yet, when you forgive someone, something amazing happens inside of you.  It's like you are released from the chains that have held you.

I was in chains for years due to the unforgiveness that I held over a previous employer.  Now I pray for this person, I love them in my heart and I know that God will bless them through my prayers.  Unforgiveness does not recognise what is right or just, just as forgiveness is equally indiscriminate.  Jesus died for our sins so that we would be forgiven.  

He didn't die for some of our sins and not others, or for some people to be forgiven whilst those who committed certain sins would be beyond redemption.  

God does not differentiate between sin; "for whoever keeps the whole law and yet stumbles at just one point is guilty of breaking all of it."  James 2:10

None of us are worthy of the sacrifice Jesus made on the cross, of the sacrifice our Heavenly Father made of sending His only begotten Son to die for us all.  

Today when I got dressed I felt drawn to wear a new purple T-shirt that I had bought at the Detling Celebration with a great message written across the front.  It wasn't until later after wrestling with my unforgiveness that I was able to really accept that this message was meant for me today.  It said, "Grace is getting what I don't deserve, mercy is not getting what I do deserve," and I think this just about sums it up.  

God shows grace and mercy to us in all things and we must do the same.  Matthew 10:8 says "freely you have received, freely give."

Father God, 

Thank you that you so loved the world that you gave your only son so that we might believe and have eternal life.  

Thank you Lord Jesus for dying for us on the cross so that anyone who repents will not perish but be welcomed into the Kingdom of Heaven.  Thank you Father for the free gift of Salvation, of mercy and of grace.  

Forgive us Father for our unforgiving hearts and I pray that you will uproot all bitterness from our innermost being so that we can rejoice with you in Heaven.  

Thank you for your blessings upon my life this day and for sending your Holy Spirit to be an advocate for me in all things.  Forgive me for not always surrendering to you and for trying to battle it out under my own strength.  Help me to give over everything into your hands and I ask that you send your Holy Spirit as a constant reminder that you have my back and that you are the guiding light that will lead me through the narrow gate.  

In Jesus' Mighty Name,

Amen.

Never alone

I know I will never be alone again.  There is no need for anyone to ever be alone.

I have always been surrounded by people.  By family, by friends, by colleagues.  And yet, I have always felt totally alone.  That is, until I felt Jesus by my side.

Most of us feel misunderstood, lost and deserted at some point in our lives.  Even when we have faith, in times of danger or emotional stress we can also lose our footing, our vision can become obscured by the troubles of the world.

In times like this it's easy to forget that Jesus will be beside us in a second if we call upon His name.  I love the story in Mark 6 of how Jesus goes up the mountain to pray whilst sending His disciples off to Bethsaida by boat.  Even though they had been with Jesus only hours earlier they quickly become terrified by the storm that descends upon them and instead of trusting in Him and calling upon His name, they try to wrestle against the waves under their own strength.  

Seeing their struggle Jesus comes to their aid but when they see Him they are too blinded by their own plight and do not recognise Him.  "When they saw Him walking on the lake, they thought He was a ghost.  They cried out because they all saw Him and were terrified." Mark 6:49-50.

The important point for me here was that even when they were too overcome to cry out for help, Jesus still came to them.  Even though they did not recognise Him, He still stepped in and calmed the storm.  

Jesus is still there for you, even when you can't see Him or don't want to see Him.  

When I was going through the storms of my life I was never able to see anything beyond what was immediately in front of me.  But now when I look back at my life, at the risks I took, at the moments in my life when I shouldn't have survived, I know that it was the Lord who stepped in.  I thought I was alone but all this time God had a hand on my life.  He was preserving me for His Kingdom.  That is why I can now trust in Him to walk with me, to be my guiding light in times of trouble.     

I have always had big dreams for my life but they weren't God's dreams, and just as it seemed the ultimate worldly achievements were in sight my life would come crumbling down around me and I'd be left wondering, “how can I survive another disaster like this?  What have I done to deserve this?”

But it wasn't what I did that was the problem, it was that I'd tried to do it all in my own strength instead of leaning on our eternal Saviour for whom nothing is too big or too small.  

Many times God sent me a miracle in my life, whether it was in death defying situations where I was pinned under the water by my boat, unable to breath and unable to move and then suddenly I was lifted clean above the water just as I was about to breath my last.  Or when I lost my job, as I seem to be in the habit of doing, God provided another solution.  When my dream was shattered and the music school that I had built was forced to close God put another opportunity my way in the form of the British School.  This was a fantastic time in my life where I was able to build a whole performing arts school with wonderful music, drama and dance programmes that reached people of all ages throughout Bahrain.  It also enabled me to develop innovative new curriculums embracing the best of the British and American systems in order to provide an outstanding service to the children of the British School.  And true to form, when this opportunity ended, our awesome God set me free to create the Inspire project and to work for the good of the Kingdom and the community through the arts.  

And with our Sovereign Lord at the helm I know that I won't find myself in need of a new contract ever again for my contract is my Salvation through the blood of Jesus and no earthly mistakes will ever take this away. 

So even now, you may feel abandoned, lost, dismissed as a failure.  Take heart, you’re not alone. The Bible says in John 14:18, “I will not abandon you or leave you as orphans in the storm — I will come to you”. I stand by these words, for He is "the way, the truth and the life." John 14:16.

Sometimes when you feel you cannot pray, you don't know how to pray or that your mind is too troubled to find the words then use a prayer such as this.  I found this wonderful prayer at a time when I thought I couldn't do it and I just thank and praise you Father that through the ultimate sacrifice of Jesus on the cross, I now walk in your grace and your perfect love.  I thank you that prayer is part of my daily life and is as natural to me as breathing.

So for anyone that feels lost or unable to pray I ask that you use this beautiful prayer.

Lord, my whole being longs for You. My mind desires Your peace, my heart desires the warmth of Your presence and my body aches for Your nearness and the intimacy that lovers share. But Lord, prayer has become so difficult. Silence seems so empty, words seem so dull and my mind seems distracted by many things. Yet more than anything my heart feels weighed down by fears, doubts and anxieties. I feel, Lord, as if You have left me and I am now all alone in this world, a stranger in a place I once called home.

Lord, I long for prayer, silence and solitude where I can just be alone with You. I feel tired with everything right now and need to rest in You. The more I try and pray the more it seems like I am not praying. The more I try to seek You, Lord, the more You seem to go away from me. Lord, I want to live in Your light but my feet seem paralyzed and unable to move towards You. Please Lord, draw me more deeply into that light, into that ocean of peace that is Your heart. I long for the time where I can just rest in You, when all of my doubts and fears will be silenced and I can just sleep in Your arms like a child with his mother.

Yet I must believe that I already possess that intimacy with You, even though I feel like I am in darkness. I choose to believe that You are not far away. I believe that You are close, too close even for my senses to perceive You. Please Lord, do not allow the darkness to overcome me. Without Your grace I cannot face it, but with Your grace I can rest in it and even say, “this too shall pass.”

Where could I go anyway if You were not here. I could not find You on my own nor could I discover something more profound or more beautiful than You. Lord, I could not discover You without You because You have discovered me, You have found me, You have revealed Yourself to me!

Yet so many people have come and gone in my life. So many friends have captured my heart and then have moved on, taking my heart with them. Lord, I can’t help but fear that You too will leave someday? My heart trembles at the thought of another separation. I know it is silly to compare You with people and to even doubt Your commitment to me is a sign that I do not understand Your love for me.

Despite all my confusion I can hear Your whisperings in my heart telling me that I am loved and that You will never abandon me. My God, I trust You with the little strength and energy I feel that I have. Thank You, Lord, for being faithful; please, in Your mercy grant me the grace to be faithful to You. 

In Jesus' Name,

Amen.


Thanks to Jeremiah Myriam Shryock for this prayer.

Beyond inspiration

So you're feeling inspired.  Great.  Such an awesome feeling!

But do you do anything with it?  Or do you just sit on it and not accomplish anything with it for fear of failure?

Inspiration is a wonderful thing but if, when you start out on your inspired journey, you get beaten down, held back, dismissed or even rejected do not be overcome.  For though "we are troubled and oppressed in every way, we are not cramped or crushed; we suffer embarrassments and are perplexed and unable to find a way out, but are not driven to despair; we are pursued and persecuted but not deserted to stand alone".  2 Corinthians 4:8-9

"For His strength is made perfect in our weakness." 2 Corinthians 12:9

When my job finished at the British School I could have seen it as a terrible time in my life, a time of fear and uncertainty,  but instead I can look on it that I am now fully released to pursue the plan that God has revealed for my life.

Since I began this most wondrous stage of my life, my walk with Christ, God has given me many revelations.  

The most amazing moment was when I received this word so full of power and creativity; a word that has come to be the focus of my work, both in the world and for the eternal Kingdom.

As you will probably have guessed, the word is "inspire".

God has inspired me to do many things over the past few months including this blog which I write on an almost daily basis.  My original intention was to write every day but when it becomes an obsession it becomes an idol and therefore what begins as a means to glorify God becomes a detraction and a distraction.  

I always have so much to say, so much to write.  But this must never be at the expense of my personal relationship with our Lord and Father which must always remain central to all I do.  

As ever my focus will be to worship God and to walk with Him in His perfect will and everything I do will be in pursuit of this.  

My hope is that the Inspire project will be all things to all people.  

It will be an arts centre offering music, drama and art activities and classes to children, adults, teens, mums and babies and family and corporate workshops.

Our website is still under construction so please visit our Facebook page for more information or contact inspirebahrain@gmail.com

We will also be hosting an awesome festival from 10th-18th October which will feature art workshops led by renowned artist Duncan Stewart, musical and choral celebrations and concerts, services, talks, dance workshops, a barn dance and an art exhibition featuring local artists.

Please contact inspirebahrain@gmail.com

for more information on any event or to submit a piece for the exhibition which should be based around the theme "inspire".

If you think you aren't creative and this isn't for you then think again.  Unleash your creativity.  Be inspired....

Dear Lord,

Today I want to give thanks for those who acknowledge and enjoy their creative selves and share their gifts of creativity with others.  I thank you that our creativity connects us with you, our awesome God, for You are the ultimate Creator.  Hence, if, as we believe, we are created in the image of You, our great and glorious God, then it is only natural that we embrace our own capacity to be creative.

Thank you Father God that we are all creators at our very core.  Help us to understand how creating can make us happy and fulfilled as we live out your purpose for our lives.  For in creating we become co-creators in partnership with You who inspire us daily when we are filled with the Holy Spirit, the breath of God.  So I pray that we will all be inspired, it’s what we were created to be, to live in the inspiration of the Word breathed out by God. 

In Jesus’ name,

Amen.