Anyone who has known me for more than a few months will probably have a good laugh at the very idea of me writing about obedience.
Being amongst the most disobedient people to ever walk this earth, I can see their point.
In days gone by if anyone asked me to do something for them I would be reluctant. My poor Mum will remember many occasions during my childhood where she would ask for my help and I'd make the excuse of needing to go to the loo where I would then sit for the next half hour or so until she would give up waiting for me.
if I was told to do it I would stubbornly avoid any positive action if at all possible and if it was insisted upon I would undertake the task very ungraciously. And if anyone ever dared to actually give me an order I would boil with anger at the indignation of it.
I don't really know why I was so against authority from such an early age, but I do know that it grew in me like a bitter root and if anyone actually succeeded in commanding obedience from me then feelings of anger and hatred would take over.
I had zero respect for anyone placed in a position of authority above me. Many memories come to mind of early reactionary traits during my primary school years. I was without fear of consequence of any kind. I remember one time the headmaster of my first school threatened me with a kind of cane stick with chains on it because I was so disobedient. I'm sure he didn't intend to use it and was merely trying to frighten me. However, it had the reverse effect and just made me extremely angry inciting me to run off, climb the boundary fence and wade across the stream behind the school. Funnily enough I don't have any memory of the consequences of my actions, but then, I was just six years old at the time.
I was well known for my flouting of the rules and lack of respect during my time at this school. However there was one teacher whom I would have done anything for. She seemed to really like me for some reason. If I remember correctly her name was Mrs Trump and she played the piano. I think she was possibly the first person to inspire me in music. I desperately wanted her to be my teacher but instead I had this horrid thin woman who didn't let me hold the baby hedgehogs or the baby rabbits because she thought I couldn't see straight as I had a squint. In hindsight I think these incidents, which happened when I was only five years old, incited in me a real lack of respect for my elders as there was nothing wrong with my vision and, although I was young, I was far from stupid and considered her discrimination against me totally unjust.
Even as I write this, tears spill down my cheeks as I feel the old anger and hatred that I've harboured all these years boiling up inside me again. I haven't thought about this teacher for a very long time and only now, as these words unfold, do I realise that I'm holding onto massive unforgiveness against her. I have to let it go. God really has awesome ways of bringing to light the issues we have to deal with. It's amazing how unforgiveness is the root of so many problems in our lives. Little did I know when I started writing this blog post that I would have to deal with yet more unforgiveness from my past.
It's easy to blame situations, unfairness and whatever else for the bad character traits which we allow to develop. This simple fact was that I lacked respect for authority of any kind and the idea of being obedient or submissive to anything was completely alien to me. Even as a child I had developed such an arrogance that I considered almost everyone to be beneath me and therefore the idea of taking orders from someone who was not my intellectual equal was absurd.
I hope I have not made any of my readers angry yet. This is my past and I am now a new creation in Christ, I have put aside my old arrogant self and I am continually humbled by what God has done for me.
So why am I choosing to write about this topic?
Because I want to people to know the joy that can be found in obedience. We are called into obedience by God. This is not because God wishes us to be mindless followers without thoughts or opinions. It is purely because God knows what is best for us, He is our Father and He loves us unfailingly.
When I first came to know Jesus, God quickly revealed to me many things in my life which had to be dealt with. I discovered that amazing feeling of freedom which came when, with God's help, I started to clean up my life. After a fairly short time I came to realise that when I went against His wishes my life felt blighted and my actions would only bare bad fruit. In those areas of my life where I was able to totally surrender everything to God I was blessed abundantly. This was particularly evident in my finances and in the finances of my work projects.
I started to write this post two days ago, since then I have witnessed how amazingly God can protect us when we listen to His voice and the guidance of the Holy Spirit.
The night before last I had decided to go to bed at 12am which is early for me but I felt a sudden and very strong feeling that I should praise and worship God. So I sat at the piano and started playing and singing some new songs that I'd printed out in the summer but hadn't had time to learn. Before I knew it it was 2am! Time for bed, most definitely.
I went straight to sleep and then, as I so often do, I felt God waking me up gently to encourage me to pray. I always love this, it's one of the most exciting things I've ever experienced. However, this morning I was just too tired, I found myself actually saying "no" to God, not a good idea. I just couldn't believe that God would think that two and a half hours sleep was enough so I ignored the feeling in my spirit and went back to sleep.
Suddenly I felt myself being virtually shaken awake and it felt like God was pretty insistent this time so I opened my eyes and then panic gripped me.
I realised that the room was full of smoke and that I couldn't breathe.
I grabbed my sleeping son and dashed from the room. I went to another part of the house but it was the same, there was no air, it was intoxicating, just noxious fumes making me want to vomit. I ran out of the house and into the little house where my son's nanny, Mary, lived, just behind my house.
Despite the fumes my son, Xavier seemed fine although I think he felt slightly nauseous because he didn't want his toast for breakfast which is normally his favourite. I felt extremely sick but then, after praying and thanking God for his protection and for delivering us from certain death from smoke inhalation I began to relax and felt much better.
To be living under God's protection is an amazing gift but in one moment of disobedience to God I put my life and the life of my son in danger. If God wants me to get up after only two hours sleep then there is a very good reason for it. When God calls us into obedience it is because He knows what is best for us. If we do not accept His will in our lives, His guiding hand through the Holy Spirit, then we cannot expect Him to protect us.
When we are children don't our parents tell us not to play with electricity, not to cross the road without holding their hands. If we are children of God then surely our Heavenly Father will do the same for us.
Last night God protected me a second time. Despite the air conditioners having been fixed I decided not to allow my son to sleep in the house. I had a late meeting and when I came home I decided not to go to bed but to stay up and Skype my friend Sophie in UK. So when again the poisonous fumes entered the house I was fully compus mentus and my son was safe in his Nanny's house. Praise God.
So, apart from a couple of sleepless nights and hundred of dead ants, whose death is a testimony to the poisonous toxicity of the fumes, all is well and there was no trace of smoke on me, just as in the story of Nebuchadnezzar and the three Hebrews in the furnace.
"So Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego came out of the fire, 27 and the satraps, prefects, governors and royal advisers crowded around them. They saw that the fire had not harmed their bodies, nor was a hair of their heads singed; their robes were not scorched, and there was no smell of fire on them." Daniel 3:27
Praise the Lord our God for He is good. Now and Always. No weapon formed against us shall prosper. If you call upon the name of Jesus you will be saved.
Amen
Being amongst the most disobedient people to ever walk this earth, I can see their point.
In days gone by if anyone asked me to do something for them I would be reluctant. My poor Mum will remember many occasions during my childhood where she would ask for my help and I'd make the excuse of needing to go to the loo where I would then sit for the next half hour or so until she would give up waiting for me.
if I was told to do it I would stubbornly avoid any positive action if at all possible and if it was insisted upon I would undertake the task very ungraciously. And if anyone ever dared to actually give me an order I would boil with anger at the indignation of it.
I don't really know why I was so against authority from such an early age, but I do know that it grew in me like a bitter root and if anyone actually succeeded in commanding obedience from me then feelings of anger and hatred would take over.
I had zero respect for anyone placed in a position of authority above me. Many memories come to mind of early reactionary traits during my primary school years. I was without fear of consequence of any kind. I remember one time the headmaster of my first school threatened me with a kind of cane stick with chains on it because I was so disobedient. I'm sure he didn't intend to use it and was merely trying to frighten me. However, it had the reverse effect and just made me extremely angry inciting me to run off, climb the boundary fence and wade across the stream behind the school. Funnily enough I don't have any memory of the consequences of my actions, but then, I was just six years old at the time.
I was well known for my flouting of the rules and lack of respect during my time at this school. However there was one teacher whom I would have done anything for. She seemed to really like me for some reason. If I remember correctly her name was Mrs Trump and she played the piano. I think she was possibly the first person to inspire me in music. I desperately wanted her to be my teacher but instead I had this horrid thin woman who didn't let me hold the baby hedgehogs or the baby rabbits because she thought I couldn't see straight as I had a squint. In hindsight I think these incidents, which happened when I was only five years old, incited in me a real lack of respect for my elders as there was nothing wrong with my vision and, although I was young, I was far from stupid and considered her discrimination against me totally unjust.
Even as I write this, tears spill down my cheeks as I feel the old anger and hatred that I've harboured all these years boiling up inside me again. I haven't thought about this teacher for a very long time and only now, as these words unfold, do I realise that I'm holding onto massive unforgiveness against her. I have to let it go. God really has awesome ways of bringing to light the issues we have to deal with. It's amazing how unforgiveness is the root of so many problems in our lives. Little did I know when I started writing this blog post that I would have to deal with yet more unforgiveness from my past.
It's easy to blame situations, unfairness and whatever else for the bad character traits which we allow to develop. This simple fact was that I lacked respect for authority of any kind and the idea of being obedient or submissive to anything was completely alien to me. Even as a child I had developed such an arrogance that I considered almost everyone to be beneath me and therefore the idea of taking orders from someone who was not my intellectual equal was absurd.
I hope I have not made any of my readers angry yet. This is my past and I am now a new creation in Christ, I have put aside my old arrogant self and I am continually humbled by what God has done for me.
So why am I choosing to write about this topic?
Because I want to people to know the joy that can be found in obedience. We are called into obedience by God. This is not because God wishes us to be mindless followers without thoughts or opinions. It is purely because God knows what is best for us, He is our Father and He loves us unfailingly.
When I first came to know Jesus, God quickly revealed to me many things in my life which had to be dealt with. I discovered that amazing feeling of freedom which came when, with God's help, I started to clean up my life. After a fairly short time I came to realise that when I went against His wishes my life felt blighted and my actions would only bare bad fruit. In those areas of my life where I was able to totally surrender everything to God I was blessed abundantly. This was particularly evident in my finances and in the finances of my work projects.
I started to write this post two days ago, since then I have witnessed how amazingly God can protect us when we listen to His voice and the guidance of the Holy Spirit.
The night before last I had decided to go to bed at 12am which is early for me but I felt a sudden and very strong feeling that I should praise and worship God. So I sat at the piano and started playing and singing some new songs that I'd printed out in the summer but hadn't had time to learn. Before I knew it it was 2am! Time for bed, most definitely.
I went straight to sleep and then, as I so often do, I felt God waking me up gently to encourage me to pray. I always love this, it's one of the most exciting things I've ever experienced. However, this morning I was just too tired, I found myself actually saying "no" to God, not a good idea. I just couldn't believe that God would think that two and a half hours sleep was enough so I ignored the feeling in my spirit and went back to sleep.
Suddenly I felt myself being virtually shaken awake and it felt like God was pretty insistent this time so I opened my eyes and then panic gripped me.
I realised that the room was full of smoke and that I couldn't breathe.
I grabbed my sleeping son and dashed from the room. I went to another part of the house but it was the same, there was no air, it was intoxicating, just noxious fumes making me want to vomit. I ran out of the house and into the little house where my son's nanny, Mary, lived, just behind my house.
Despite the fumes my son, Xavier seemed fine although I think he felt slightly nauseous because he didn't want his toast for breakfast which is normally his favourite. I felt extremely sick but then, after praying and thanking God for his protection and for delivering us from certain death from smoke inhalation I began to relax and felt much better.
To be living under God's protection is an amazing gift but in one moment of disobedience to God I put my life and the life of my son in danger. If God wants me to get up after only two hours sleep then there is a very good reason for it. When God calls us into obedience it is because He knows what is best for us. If we do not accept His will in our lives, His guiding hand through the Holy Spirit, then we cannot expect Him to protect us.
When we are children don't our parents tell us not to play with electricity, not to cross the road without holding their hands. If we are children of God then surely our Heavenly Father will do the same for us.
Last night God protected me a second time. Despite the air conditioners having been fixed I decided not to allow my son to sleep in the house. I had a late meeting and when I came home I decided not to go to bed but to stay up and Skype my friend Sophie in UK. So when again the poisonous fumes entered the house I was fully compus mentus and my son was safe in his Nanny's house. Praise God.
So, apart from a couple of sleepless nights and hundred of dead ants, whose death is a testimony to the poisonous toxicity of the fumes, all is well and there was no trace of smoke on me, just as in the story of Nebuchadnezzar and the three Hebrews in the furnace.
"So Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego came out of the fire, 27 and the satraps, prefects, governors and royal advisers crowded around them. They saw that the fire had not harmed their bodies, nor was a hair of their heads singed; their robes were not scorched, and there was no smell of fire on them." Daniel 3:27
This morning God gave me psalm 21 which I want to leave you with now.
I lift up my eyes to the mountains—
where does my help come from?
2 My help comes from the Lord,
the Maker of heaven and earth.
where does my help come from?
2 My help comes from the Lord,
the Maker of heaven and earth.
3 He will not let your foot slip—
he who watches over you will not slumber;
4 indeed, he who watches over Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.
he who watches over you will not slumber;
4 indeed, he who watches over Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.
5 The Lord watches over you—
the Lord is your shade at your right hand;
6 the sun will not harm you by day,
nor the moon by night.
the Lord is your shade at your right hand;
6 the sun will not harm you by day,
nor the moon by night.
7 The Lord will keep you from all harm—
he will watch over your life;
8 the Lord will watch over your coming and going
both now and forevermore.
he will watch over your life;
8 the Lord will watch over your coming and going
both now and forevermore.
Praise the Lord our God for He is good. Now and Always. No weapon formed against us shall prosper. If you call upon the name of Jesus you will be saved.
Amen
Great post Lydia :)
ReplyDeleteThanks Natasha, glad you enjoyed it :-)
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