Surely to be selfish means to put yourself first, to do what's best for you. There are many dictionary definitions but my favourite is "concerned primarily with one's own interests, benefits, welfare, etc.". Most definitions include words such as "without concern or regard for others", which is what puts the negative slant on it. If it wasn't for that unfortunate turn of phrase which is so often associated with selfishness then I would see that being selfish sounds like a pretty good idea. After all, if you don't look after yourself then your not going to be much use looking after anyone else!
If more time was spent learning how to look after our own physical, mental and spiritual welfare then there would be a lot fewer sick, depressed, impoverished and lonely people in the world.
Do you ever find yourself in the unhappy position of feeling that what you're doing is a waste of time, or a waste of money? Perhaps a meeting with an unyielding client or lazy employee or buying a birthday present for someone only out of a feeling of duty..... Does this make you resentful or do you continue to wake up with a smile on your face?
If more time was spent learning how to look after our own physical, mental and spiritual welfare then there would be a lot fewer sick, depressed, impoverished and lonely people in the world.
Do you ever find yourself in the unhappy position of feeling that what you're doing is a waste of time, or a waste of money? Perhaps a meeting with an unyielding client or lazy employee or buying a birthday present for someone only out of a feeling of duty..... Does this make you resentful or do you continue to wake up with a smile on your face?
Perhaps your entire working life has never provided you with any fulfilment or sense of achievement. Or you really don't want to spend your weekends with your sister and her kids or your ageing mother, your monosyllabic husband or even your wife who just spends your money like water. And you've started to realise that your mates down the pub are all spongers in it for what they can get, a free drink and a listening ear, when the last thing you need is to hear their unending tales of woe. After all, your life is much worse. Your wife ran off with someone else, your kids only come to you when they need money and you used to be a lot better off financially than you are since you set up your own business. Looking around you it seems plainly obvious that you're a lot worse off than any of your friends.
So you become more resentful......
In fact, if you want to become really negative and indulge in a veritable pity party then look at how much time and money you've wasted on pointless exercises, meritless meetings and conversations with people who's position in society is only just above oxygen thief, then you may start to feel sick to the stomach.
In fact, if you want to become really negative and indulge in a veritable pity party then look at how much time and money you've wasted on pointless exercises, meritless meetings and conversations with people who's position in society is only just above oxygen thief, then you may start to feel sick to the stomach.
Does this make you feel any better? Probably not. In fact if you focus on all that then there probably isn't any room left in your heart for joy. Your face will become etched in smile lines except these lines are smiling upside down!
If you're one of those people who feels all of the above and yet never voices their complaints then you can at least congratulate yourself that you haven't polluted the air with your negativity. However, by dwelling on these thoughts you are letting something rather unpleasant grow inside you that will gradually squeeze out any hope, joy or peace from your life or worse case scenario it may start to manifest itself physically in your body in the form of cancer or any other disease which often mirrors the effect of your bitterness.
We all know what bitterness tastes like..... well, it tastes bitter, like that crazy looking Indian vegetable the bitter gourd. So swallow it - swallow up the bitterness and move on. When you swallow up the juice of the bitter gourd the results are amazing and it's the same for your state of mind. When the bitter flavour has left you'll feel rejuvenated, renewed. "Be transformed by the renewing of your mind." Romans 12:2
The bitter gourd has been linked as a cure for all sorts of ills, diabetes and cancer to name a few. If you haven't tasted it then you really should. It's awful but well worth it. A cup of bitter gourd juice drank daily will definitely keep the doctor away, better than an apple any day!! It's the same with forgiveness and repentance. You may think that you've forgiven everyone and repented of everything but it's not a one time occurrence. It's a daily walk. There are certain people in my life, particularly people from my past, who always manage to stir up the old bitterness in me. If I let it fester I could easily become that "cups half empty" person. This doesn't mean that I'm not saved or that I'm not walking with Jesus, it's just a reminder of how much we need Jesus. How much we need God's grace, His love, His joy, His mercy. Just like that cup of bitter gourd juice needs to be drank every day, so we need to relive our forgiveness and repent daily.
Recently I was chatting with an old school friend. We hadn't seen each other for 21 years so naturally we wanted to share our life experiences with each other. She had been following my blog and everything I've been doing so she knew that it was likely that I would talk to her about Jesus. By her own admission she liked to play "devil's advocate" challenging everything I said. It was getting pretty frustrating as it seemed she had an answer for everything.
Whatever happened next was totally surreal and not something that I had ever even thought of before.
We agreed that when put in those terms forgiveness was actually the selfish choice. If you don't forgive, in the end it will kill you.
So I said choosing Jesus is also the selfish choice. It's what's best for you, best for your family and best for your future. Why would you not want love, joy, and peace.
Why would anyone choose death over life. That's not being selfish, it's being stupid.
If you're one of those people who feels all of the above and yet never voices their complaints then you can at least congratulate yourself that you haven't polluted the air with your negativity. However, by dwelling on these thoughts you are letting something rather unpleasant grow inside you that will gradually squeeze out any hope, joy or peace from your life or worse case scenario it may start to manifest itself physically in your body in the form of cancer or any other disease which often mirrors the effect of your bitterness.
We all know what bitterness tastes like..... well, it tastes bitter, like that crazy looking Indian vegetable the bitter gourd. So swallow it - swallow up the bitterness and move on. When you swallow up the juice of the bitter gourd the results are amazing and it's the same for your state of mind. When the bitter flavour has left you'll feel rejuvenated, renewed. "Be transformed by the renewing of your mind." Romans 12:2
The bitter gourd has been linked as a cure for all sorts of ills, diabetes and cancer to name a few. If you haven't tasted it then you really should. It's awful but well worth it. A cup of bitter gourd juice drank daily will definitely keep the doctor away, better than an apple any day!! It's the same with forgiveness and repentance. You may think that you've forgiven everyone and repented of everything but it's not a one time occurrence. It's a daily walk. There are certain people in my life, particularly people from my past, who always manage to stir up the old bitterness in me. If I let it fester I could easily become that "cups half empty" person. This doesn't mean that I'm not saved or that I'm not walking with Jesus, it's just a reminder of how much we need Jesus. How much we need God's grace, His love, His joy, His mercy. Just like that cup of bitter gourd juice needs to be drank every day, so we need to relive our forgiveness and repent daily.
Recently I was chatting with an old school friend. We hadn't seen each other for 21 years so naturally we wanted to share our life experiences with each other. She had been following my blog and everything I've been doing so she knew that it was likely that I would talk to her about Jesus. By her own admission she liked to play "devil's advocate" challenging everything I said. It was getting pretty frustrating as it seemed she had an answer for everything.
So we changed the subject and I silently asked the Holy Spirit to show me the way forward in this conversation.
Suddenly she reopened the topic stating how it's unrealistic the way Christians talk about everything being forgiven. She then asked the kind of question you always hope that someone would never ask you. She asked if I would forgive someone if they hurt my son and how would I accept if they were in heaven just because they found Jesus.
Suddenly she reopened the topic stating how it's unrealistic the way Christians talk about everything being forgiven. She then asked the kind of question you always hope that someone would never ask you. She asked if I would forgive someone if they hurt my son and how would I accept if they were in heaven just because they found Jesus.
Whatever happened next was totally surreal and not something that I had ever even thought of before.
I asked her to think of anyone whom she knew of who had lost a child through murder or a road accident or something.
I asked her to think about what happened to that person who couldn't forgive. What happened to the person who sought revenge?
Did their revenge or their anger and bitterness help them or did it slowly destroy them and ruin their entire life? Surely they may aswell have died with their child.
I asked her to think about what happened to that person who couldn't forgive. What happened to the person who sought revenge?
Did their revenge or their anger and bitterness help them or did it slowly destroy them and ruin their entire life? Surely they may aswell have died with their child.
We agreed that when put in those terms forgiveness was actually the selfish choice. If you don't forgive, in the end it will kill you.
So I said choosing Jesus is also the selfish choice. It's what's best for you, best for your family and best for your future. Why would you not want love, joy, and peace.
Why would anyone choose death over life. That's not being selfish, it's being stupid.
Dear Father,
Thank you for your loving kindness, thank you that you can work all things for good, thank you that you have plans to prosper us and not to harm us.
Forgive us for not always being good stewards of everything you have given us. Forgive us for being ungrateful and not recognising the blessings that you have bestowed upon us.
Lord, may your word be a lamp to my feet and a light for my path. Show me the way to the narrow gate that I may walk in your ways now and every day.
In Jesus Name,
Amen
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