Would you give someone your last rolo?

What is it you value in life?  In essence, what is your last rolo?  Your hard earned cash?  Your precious time? Knowledge?  Wisdom?  Friendship?  Love?

For many of us the thing we value most is whatever we have least of.  When we have very little it can be very hard to give it away, but if like the poor woman in Mark 12:41-44, our love is so great that we give all we have, then it will be a very great blessing.

“Truly, I say to you, this poor widow has put in more than all those who are contributing to the offering box. For they all contributed out of their abundance, but she out of her poverty has put in everything she had, all she had to live on.”

However, if you find yourself giving your time or your money in a resentful manner then better to withdraw for it will bring no fruit nor joy to anyone.  

God's Word says "Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.  And God is able to bless you abundantly, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work."  2 Corinthians 9:7-8

When we talk about giving it is natural to automatically think of money, charitable donations, financial blessings, sponsorship and tithing.  However, to some people time is an even more valuable commodity.  In fact, in days gone by when I was in more advantageous financial circumstances I would pay any amount of money just to get out of doing what I would consider "time wasting" activities.  

My favourite phrase was "time is money and my time is worth more than most people's money".  Back then I didn't really have time for anyone, I hated small talk and the idea of sitting and chatting with friends was positively alien to me.  I wanted to spend my time only in leisure and adrenalin pursuits such as competition sailing, endurance horse racing and show jumping.  I hate to admit it now but most conversation was goal orientated and driven by self promotion and ambition.  

On the other hand I was much freer with my money than I was with my time, but that was not so much out of a genuine desire to be generous but more because I wanted to show I was kind hearted.  The truth was that I didn't really value money.  Although we hadn't grown up in a wealthy household, my adult life had been one of prosperity and I had never had to worry about money at all so I fostered an easy come, easy go sort of attitude.  This was actually a form of rebellion against my upbringing of "look after the pennies and the pounds look after themselves". 

I would give money and never expect anything in return just because it made me feel better about myself as a person.  However, the tables suddenly turned on my financial situation and I lost everything I had ever earned.  From that day on I began to resent parting with any money at all.  Just as I had resented giving my time, I now felt a bitter resentment every time I had to hand over any of my hard earned cash.  

I had lost my marriage, my business, my life savings and I now had a son to support as well.  The next few years were challenging to say the least.  I certainly had to adjust my spending which also spurred resentment.  I started looking back on all the money that I had frittered away on causes, people, pursuits and whatever else had come to mind.  Even today if I don't surrender it to God on a daily basis I feel bitterness creeping back in.  

Sometimes you don't even realise that you are still harbouring resentment.  A while ago someone who is close to me pointed out that any money given begrudgingly doesn't carry a blessing.  Hence, the scripture quoted at the opening "Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.  And God is able to bless you abundantly, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work."  2 Corinthians 9:7-8

Since coming to Christ my attitude towards people has totally changed.  I now love to meet with people and will make every effort to give others the benefit of my time.  God has brought so many wonderful people into my life who have really taught me the beauty of friendship and love.  I make every effort to meet with and get to know new people from every sphere of life in the hope that I can show the love of Jesus through the power of the Holy Spirit working in me. 

Without noticing it seemed that my priorities had switched.  Whereas before I would give away money without a second thought, but would begrudge even five minutes of my time, I now find myself in the reverse situation.  I no longer consider my time my own, I gave of myself freely and without any resentment to whoever came across my path, whereas financially I had unwittingly become resentful about parting with my hard earned cash.  

Thanks to the honesty of a very close friend, I immediately redressed the balance and asked that God bless every penny, every pound, every fils and every dinar that passes from my hand into the hands of another.  In fact as is my usual trait, I went from one extreme to the other.  I now found myself wanting to give and give but had not the means to do so.  It's amazing how God is able to change our hearts.  

I love the verse in Proverbs 11:24 "One person gives freely, yet gains even more; another withholds unduly, but comes to poverty.  A generous person will prosper; whoever refreshes others will be refreshed."

Certainly when you give your time freely to others you gain friendships and become rich in loving relationships.  I also have an amazing testimony of how the Holy Spirit convicted me about tithing with incredible results which I wrote about in a previous blog "Giving is always good - don't you agree?"

I now place equal value on everything God has given to me.  If someone is in need of time, love, friendship, money, or anything else that I can offer, then I'm there.  And God has a habit of putting me in some pretty interesting and often challenging situations which I certainly would have run a mile from a few months ago.  

God asks us to see everyone as He sees them; as His children; sons and daughters of the King of Kings.  So if put like that then how could we not give our real or metaphoric last rolo to someone whom God loves just as He loves us, and just as He loves His only begotten son, our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ.  

Father God,

You knew us before we were born, you called us by name, you know every hair on our heads.  You gave us all we have and you knit us together in our mother's womb.  

Help us to understand the love you have for us is the same as the love you have for Jesus; the same love that is inside us because we are made in your image.  Send your Holy Spirit to fill our hearts to overflowing with your love so that it will spill over into the hearts of everyone whom our lives touch.  Send us out to be your ambassadors in the world.  Ambassadors of your love, your peace and your joy.

Help us to be cheerful givers and to listen to your voice as to how and when we are to give and to always be obedient to your Holy Spirit.

I ask in Jesus name,

Amen.

Half full or half empty??

The concept of half full or half empty is an interesting one.  If you are half full then you are anticipating reaching fullness.  If you are half empty then you are anticipating emptiness, the end, nothingness.

A few years ago I was listening to a relative complaining about this and that, bemoaning imagined and real illnesses.  Suddenly another relative interrupted "well, we're all dying from the moment we're born aren't we?  It's downhill all the way!".  How depressing.  Put like that it's not surprising many people wonder what on earth we are here for.  I prefer to think of life as an upward journey, not a downhill spiral.

But many of us will probably be saying to ourselves, if not aloud "it's all very well for you, you don't have this, that and the other problem".  

Well I used to be one of those people.  I always looked at my life and compared it unfavourably with others.  The grass was always greener; the cup half empty.  

At one time I felt that although I had everything I needed materialistically, I felt empty inside, angry at my life, hating the world and everyone in it.  Then suddenly, I lost almost everything, my marriage, my business, my friends, my horses, and to put the icing on the cake, I was pregnant.  

But the moment my son was born I swallowed it all, I just looked at his perfect little form and knew I had to do something to transform myself into someone worthy of being his mummy.  Instead of looking at the facts; no job, no money, no husband; I chose to look at the possibilities and see opportunities.  Having no job meant I could spend more time with my baby son, I could always earn money because I could teach music in my house, being single would mean I wouldn't have anyone to argue with ;-)  

Now that glass was most definitely half full.  

In reality it was pretty dire, but I went back to Bahrain anyway, to my beautiful house where I had been living until the 7th month of my pregnancy, with 3 house mates who'd now left me to pay all the rent.  That was also a hidden blessing - I now had the whole house for my son and my new home teaching practice.  I managed to retain most of my students and then shortly afterwards I was head hunted for a great job as Director of Performing Arts at the British School of Bahrain.  This was so awesome, I would be able to continue teaching all my students through their own academy program but also earn a guaranteed income and be able to provide a secure future for my son.  

Two years on I found faith in Jesus Christ.  Following this it looked like I was once again set to lose everything.  But I had my health, I had my son, and now, God was on my side.  He would provide.  I lost my job and the financial and educational security it would have provided for my son, but, I gained so much more!  I got the opportunity to live my dream.  To set up Inspire Bahrain, a vision that was given to me by God.  To provide training and opportunities in the performing arts scene across Bahrain but without the constraints of working in an organisation such as a school.  Now I could combine the corporate training, performance development and team building that I loved with the music and drama coaching and kids activities which I was so passionate about.  It would also give me opportunities to work with different areas of the community and really reach out to parts of society that would otherwise be overlooked or would indeed, overlook us!  

I could have stared hard into my glass and seen the empty side of things.  Again, no money, again, no security, again, no husband.  But instead I've never felt so much joy, and the support I received from my new church family at Rivers of Joy was like nothing I had ever experienced.  It certainly helps you to remain positive when you surround yourself with positive people.  The more I got to know these people over the past 2 years the more I understood why they were so positive and I let their way of life and their love, the love of Christ, rub off on me.  

Matthew 10:39 says, "If you cling to your life, you will lose it; but if you give up your life for me, you will find it." 

If I had tried to hang on to my old life, my old job, my marriage even, I would have lost everything, I would not be the person I am today.  Instead I handed it all over to God who showed me a better way, His way.  Now my glass is no longer half empty, or even half full.  No, it's overflowing with joy, with love, with peace.    





Dear Lord,

You are the way, the truth and the life.  You know our struggles, you know our weaknesses, you know our strengths.  Nothing is hidden from you.  

Thank you that when we repent from our self indulgence and self pity you are there to work all things for good.  Thank you for healing us in body, mind and spirit.  

Thank you that you are the Provider, our Jehovah Jireh who is always there to fill us with your Holy Spirit so that we never run on empty.  There is none like you oh God.  Father, give us the strength to turn around, to start again, to walk the better way with you to light our path.  

Lord I pray that you will come into the hearts of those who are feeling half empty and fill them so that they might know your peace and love, your power and glory, in this world and the next.

In Jesus Name,

Amen.

Sometimes it's okay to be selfish........

Surely to be selfish means to put yourself first, to do what's best for you.  There are many dictionary definitions but my favourite is  "concerned primarily with one's own interests, benefits, welfare, etc.".  Most definitions include words such as "without concern or regard for others", which is what puts the negative slant on it.  If it wasn't for that unfortunate turn of phrase which is so often associated with selfishness then I would see that being selfish sounds like a pretty good idea.  After all, if you don't look after yourself then your not going to be much use looking after anyone else!

If more time was spent learning how to look after our own physical, mental and spiritual welfare then there would be a lot fewer sick, depressed, impoverished and lonely people in the world.

Do you ever find yourself in the unhappy position of feeling that what you're doing is a waste of time, or a waste of money?  Perhaps a meeting with an unyielding client or lazy employee or buying a birthday present for someone only out of a feeling of duty.....  Does this make you resentful or do you continue to wake up with a smile on your face?

Perhaps your entire working life has never provided you with any fulfilment or sense of achievement.  Or you really don't want to spend your weekends with your sister and her kids or your ageing mother, your monosyllabic husband or even your wife who just spends your money like water.  And you've started to realise that your mates down the pub are all spongers in it for what they can get, a free drink and a listening ear, when the last thing you need is to hear their unending tales of woe.  After all, your life is much worse.  Your wife ran off with someone else, your kids only come to you when they need money and you used to be a lot better off financially than you are since you set up your own business.  Looking around you it seems plainly obvious that you're a lot worse off than any of your friends.

So you become more resentful......  

In fact, if you want to become really negative and indulge in a veritable pity party then look at how much time and money you've wasted on pointless exercises, meritless meetings and conversations with people who's position in society is only just above oxygen thief, then you may start to feel sick to the stomach.  

Does this make you feel any better?  Probably not.  In fact if you focus on all that then there probably isn't any room left in your heart for joy.  Your face will become etched in smile lines except these lines are smiling upside down!

If you're one of those people who feels all of the above and yet never voices their complaints then you can at least congratulate yourself that you haven't polluted the air with your negativity.  However, by dwelling on these thoughts you are letting something rather unpleasant grow inside you that will gradually squeeze out any hope, joy or peace from your life or worse case scenario it may start to manifest itself physically in your body in the form of cancer or any other disease which often mirrors the effect of your bitterness.

We all know what bitterness tastes like.....  well, it tastes bitter, like that crazy looking Indian vegetable the bitter gourd.  So swallow it - swallow up the bitterness and move on.  When you swallow up the juice of the bitter gourd the results are amazing and it's the same for your state of mind.  When the bitter flavour has left you'll feel rejuvenated, renewed.  "Be transformed by the renewing of your mind." Romans 12:2 

The bitter gourd has been linked as a cure for all sorts of ills, diabetes and cancer to name a few.  If you haven't tasted it then you really should.  It's awful but well worth it.  A cup of bitter gourd juice drank daily will definitely keep the doctor away, better than an apple any day!!  It's the same with forgiveness and repentance.  You may think that you've forgiven everyone and repented of everything but it's not a one time occurrence.  It's a daily walk.  There are certain people in my life, particularly people from my past, who always manage to stir up the old bitterness in me.  If I let it fester I could easily become that "cups half empty" person.  This doesn't mean that I'm not saved or that I'm not walking with Jesus, it's just a reminder of how much we need Jesus.  How much we need God's grace, His love, His joy, His mercy.  Just like that cup of bitter gourd juice needs to be drank every day, so we need to relive our forgiveness and repent daily.


Recently I was chatting with an old school friend.  We hadn't seen each other for 21 years so naturally we wanted to share our life experiences with each other.  She had been following my blog and everything I've been doing so she knew that it was likely that I would talk to her about Jesus.  By her own admission she liked to play "devil's advocate" challenging everything I said.  It was getting pretty frustrating as it seemed she had an answer for everything.

So we changed the subject and I silently asked the Holy Spirit to show me the way forward in this conversation.
Suddenly she reopened the topic stating how it's unrealistic the way Christians talk about everything being forgiven.  She then asked the kind of question you always hope that someone would never ask you.  She asked if I would forgive someone if they hurt my son and how would I accept if they were in heaven just because they found Jesus.

Whatever happened next was totally surreal and not something that I had ever even thought of before.  

I asked her to think of anyone whom she knew of who had lost a child through murder or a road accident or something.
I asked her to think about what happened to that person who couldn't forgive. What happened to the person who sought revenge?
Did their revenge or their anger and bitterness help them or did it slowly destroy them and ruin their entire life? Surely they may aswell have died with their child. 

We agreed that when put in those terms forgiveness was actually the selfish choice.  If you don't forgive, in the end it will kill you.
So I said choosing Jesus is also the selfish choice.  It's what's best for you, best for your family and best for your future.  Why would you not want love, joy, and peace.

Why would anyone choose death over life.  That's not being selfish, it's being stupid.

Dear Father,

Thank you for your loving kindness, thank you that you can work all things for good, thank you that you have plans to prosper us and not to harm us.  

Forgive us for not always being good stewards of everything you have given us.  Forgive us for being ungrateful and not recognising the blessings that you have bestowed upon us.  

Lord, may your word be a lamp to my feet and a light for my path.  Show me the way to the narrow gate that I may walk in your ways now and every day.

In Jesus Name,

Amen