Would you give someone your last rolo?

What is it you value in life?  In essence, what is your last rolo?  Your hard earned cash?  Your precious time? Knowledge?  Wisdom?  Friendship?  Love?

For many of us the thing we value most is whatever we have least of.  When we have very little it can be very hard to give it away, but if like the poor woman in Mark 12:41-44, our love is so great that we give all we have, then it will be a very great blessing.

“Truly, I say to you, this poor widow has put in more than all those who are contributing to the offering box. For they all contributed out of their abundance, but she out of her poverty has put in everything she had, all she had to live on.”

However, if you find yourself giving your time or your money in a resentful manner then better to withdraw for it will bring no fruit nor joy to anyone.  

God's Word says "Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.  And God is able to bless you abundantly, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work."  2 Corinthians 9:7-8

When we talk about giving it is natural to automatically think of money, charitable donations, financial blessings, sponsorship and tithing.  However, to some people time is an even more valuable commodity.  In fact, in days gone by when I was in more advantageous financial circumstances I would pay any amount of money just to get out of doing what I would consider "time wasting" activities.  

My favourite phrase was "time is money and my time is worth more than most people's money".  Back then I didn't really have time for anyone, I hated small talk and the idea of sitting and chatting with friends was positively alien to me.  I wanted to spend my time only in leisure and adrenalin pursuits such as competition sailing, endurance horse racing and show jumping.  I hate to admit it now but most conversation was goal orientated and driven by self promotion and ambition.  

On the other hand I was much freer with my money than I was with my time, but that was not so much out of a genuine desire to be generous but more because I wanted to show I was kind hearted.  The truth was that I didn't really value money.  Although we hadn't grown up in a wealthy household, my adult life had been one of prosperity and I had never had to worry about money at all so I fostered an easy come, easy go sort of attitude.  This was actually a form of rebellion against my upbringing of "look after the pennies and the pounds look after themselves". 

I would give money and never expect anything in return just because it made me feel better about myself as a person.  However, the tables suddenly turned on my financial situation and I lost everything I had ever earned.  From that day on I began to resent parting with any money at all.  Just as I had resented giving my time, I now felt a bitter resentment every time I had to hand over any of my hard earned cash.  

I had lost my marriage, my business, my life savings and I now had a son to support as well.  The next few years were challenging to say the least.  I certainly had to adjust my spending which also spurred resentment.  I started looking back on all the money that I had frittered away on causes, people, pursuits and whatever else had come to mind.  Even today if I don't surrender it to God on a daily basis I feel bitterness creeping back in.  

Sometimes you don't even realise that you are still harbouring resentment.  A while ago someone who is close to me pointed out that any money given begrudgingly doesn't carry a blessing.  Hence, the scripture quoted at the opening "Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.  And God is able to bless you abundantly, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work."  2 Corinthians 9:7-8

Since coming to Christ my attitude towards people has totally changed.  I now love to meet with people and will make every effort to give others the benefit of my time.  God has brought so many wonderful people into my life who have really taught me the beauty of friendship and love.  I make every effort to meet with and get to know new people from every sphere of life in the hope that I can show the love of Jesus through the power of the Holy Spirit working in me. 

Without noticing it seemed that my priorities had switched.  Whereas before I would give away money without a second thought, but would begrudge even five minutes of my time, I now find myself in the reverse situation.  I no longer consider my time my own, I gave of myself freely and without any resentment to whoever came across my path, whereas financially I had unwittingly become resentful about parting with my hard earned cash.  

Thanks to the honesty of a very close friend, I immediately redressed the balance and asked that God bless every penny, every pound, every fils and every dinar that passes from my hand into the hands of another.  In fact as is my usual trait, I went from one extreme to the other.  I now found myself wanting to give and give but had not the means to do so.  It's amazing how God is able to change our hearts.  

I love the verse in Proverbs 11:24 "One person gives freely, yet gains even more; another withholds unduly, but comes to poverty.  A generous person will prosper; whoever refreshes others will be refreshed."

Certainly when you give your time freely to others you gain friendships and become rich in loving relationships.  I also have an amazing testimony of how the Holy Spirit convicted me about tithing with incredible results which I wrote about in a previous blog "Giving is always good - don't you agree?"

I now place equal value on everything God has given to me.  If someone is in need of time, love, friendship, money, or anything else that I can offer, then I'm there.  And God has a habit of putting me in some pretty interesting and often challenging situations which I certainly would have run a mile from a few months ago.  

God asks us to see everyone as He sees them; as His children; sons and daughters of the King of Kings.  So if put like that then how could we not give our real or metaphoric last rolo to someone whom God loves just as He loves us, and just as He loves His only begotten son, our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ.  

Father God,

You knew us before we were born, you called us by name, you know every hair on our heads.  You gave us all we have and you knit us together in our mother's womb.  

Help us to understand the love you have for us is the same as the love you have for Jesus; the same love that is inside us because we are made in your image.  Send your Holy Spirit to fill our hearts to overflowing with your love so that it will spill over into the hearts of everyone whom our lives touch.  Send us out to be your ambassadors in the world.  Ambassadors of your love, your peace and your joy.

Help us to be cheerful givers and to listen to your voice as to how and when we are to give and to always be obedient to your Holy Spirit.

I ask in Jesus name,

Amen.

Half full or half empty??

The concept of half full or half empty is an interesting one.  If you are half full then you are anticipating reaching fullness.  If you are half empty then you are anticipating emptiness, the end, nothingness.

A few years ago I was listening to a relative complaining about this and that, bemoaning imagined and real illnesses.  Suddenly another relative interrupted "well, we're all dying from the moment we're born aren't we?  It's downhill all the way!".  How depressing.  Put like that it's not surprising many people wonder what on earth we are here for.  I prefer to think of life as an upward journey, not a downhill spiral.

But many of us will probably be saying to ourselves, if not aloud "it's all very well for you, you don't have this, that and the other problem".  

Well I used to be one of those people.  I always looked at my life and compared it unfavourably with others.  The grass was always greener; the cup half empty.  

At one time I felt that although I had everything I needed materialistically, I felt empty inside, angry at my life, hating the world and everyone in it.  Then suddenly, I lost almost everything, my marriage, my business, my friends, my horses, and to put the icing on the cake, I was pregnant.  

But the moment my son was born I swallowed it all, I just looked at his perfect little form and knew I had to do something to transform myself into someone worthy of being his mummy.  Instead of looking at the facts; no job, no money, no husband; I chose to look at the possibilities and see opportunities.  Having no job meant I could spend more time with my baby son, I could always earn money because I could teach music in my house, being single would mean I wouldn't have anyone to argue with ;-)  

Now that glass was most definitely half full.  

In reality it was pretty dire, but I went back to Bahrain anyway, to my beautiful house where I had been living until the 7th month of my pregnancy, with 3 house mates who'd now left me to pay all the rent.  That was also a hidden blessing - I now had the whole house for my son and my new home teaching practice.  I managed to retain most of my students and then shortly afterwards I was head hunted for a great job as Director of Performing Arts at the British School of Bahrain.  This was so awesome, I would be able to continue teaching all my students through their own academy program but also earn a guaranteed income and be able to provide a secure future for my son.  

Two years on I found faith in Jesus Christ.  Following this it looked like I was once again set to lose everything.  But I had my health, I had my son, and now, God was on my side.  He would provide.  I lost my job and the financial and educational security it would have provided for my son, but, I gained so much more!  I got the opportunity to live my dream.  To set up Inspire Bahrain, a vision that was given to me by God.  To provide training and opportunities in the performing arts scene across Bahrain but without the constraints of working in an organisation such as a school.  Now I could combine the corporate training, performance development and team building that I loved with the music and drama coaching and kids activities which I was so passionate about.  It would also give me opportunities to work with different areas of the community and really reach out to parts of society that would otherwise be overlooked or would indeed, overlook us!  

I could have stared hard into my glass and seen the empty side of things.  Again, no money, again, no security, again, no husband.  But instead I've never felt so much joy, and the support I received from my new church family at Rivers of Joy was like nothing I had ever experienced.  It certainly helps you to remain positive when you surround yourself with positive people.  The more I got to know these people over the past 2 years the more I understood why they were so positive and I let their way of life and their love, the love of Christ, rub off on me.  

Matthew 10:39 says, "If you cling to your life, you will lose it; but if you give up your life for me, you will find it." 

If I had tried to hang on to my old life, my old job, my marriage even, I would have lost everything, I would not be the person I am today.  Instead I handed it all over to God who showed me a better way, His way.  Now my glass is no longer half empty, or even half full.  No, it's overflowing with joy, with love, with peace.    





Dear Lord,

You are the way, the truth and the life.  You know our struggles, you know our weaknesses, you know our strengths.  Nothing is hidden from you.  

Thank you that when we repent from our self indulgence and self pity you are there to work all things for good.  Thank you for healing us in body, mind and spirit.  

Thank you that you are the Provider, our Jehovah Jireh who is always there to fill us with your Holy Spirit so that we never run on empty.  There is none like you oh God.  Father, give us the strength to turn around, to start again, to walk the better way with you to light our path.  

Lord I pray that you will come into the hearts of those who are feeling half empty and fill them so that they might know your peace and love, your power and glory, in this world and the next.

In Jesus Name,

Amen.

Sometimes it's okay to be selfish........

Surely to be selfish means to put yourself first, to do what's best for you.  There are many dictionary definitions but my favourite is  "concerned primarily with one's own interests, benefits, welfare, etc.".  Most definitions include words such as "without concern or regard for others", which is what puts the negative slant on it.  If it wasn't for that unfortunate turn of phrase which is so often associated with selfishness then I would see that being selfish sounds like a pretty good idea.  After all, if you don't look after yourself then your not going to be much use looking after anyone else!

If more time was spent learning how to look after our own physical, mental and spiritual welfare then there would be a lot fewer sick, depressed, impoverished and lonely people in the world.

Do you ever find yourself in the unhappy position of feeling that what you're doing is a waste of time, or a waste of money?  Perhaps a meeting with an unyielding client or lazy employee or buying a birthday present for someone only out of a feeling of duty.....  Does this make you resentful or do you continue to wake up with a smile on your face?

Perhaps your entire working life has never provided you with any fulfilment or sense of achievement.  Or you really don't want to spend your weekends with your sister and her kids or your ageing mother, your monosyllabic husband or even your wife who just spends your money like water.  And you've started to realise that your mates down the pub are all spongers in it for what they can get, a free drink and a listening ear, when the last thing you need is to hear their unending tales of woe.  After all, your life is much worse.  Your wife ran off with someone else, your kids only come to you when they need money and you used to be a lot better off financially than you are since you set up your own business.  Looking around you it seems plainly obvious that you're a lot worse off than any of your friends.

So you become more resentful......  

In fact, if you want to become really negative and indulge in a veritable pity party then look at how much time and money you've wasted on pointless exercises, meritless meetings and conversations with people who's position in society is only just above oxygen thief, then you may start to feel sick to the stomach.  

Does this make you feel any better?  Probably not.  In fact if you focus on all that then there probably isn't any room left in your heart for joy.  Your face will become etched in smile lines except these lines are smiling upside down!

If you're one of those people who feels all of the above and yet never voices their complaints then you can at least congratulate yourself that you haven't polluted the air with your negativity.  However, by dwelling on these thoughts you are letting something rather unpleasant grow inside you that will gradually squeeze out any hope, joy or peace from your life or worse case scenario it may start to manifest itself physically in your body in the form of cancer or any other disease which often mirrors the effect of your bitterness.

We all know what bitterness tastes like.....  well, it tastes bitter, like that crazy looking Indian vegetable the bitter gourd.  So swallow it - swallow up the bitterness and move on.  When you swallow up the juice of the bitter gourd the results are amazing and it's the same for your state of mind.  When the bitter flavour has left you'll feel rejuvenated, renewed.  "Be transformed by the renewing of your mind." Romans 12:2 

The bitter gourd has been linked as a cure for all sorts of ills, diabetes and cancer to name a few.  If you haven't tasted it then you really should.  It's awful but well worth it.  A cup of bitter gourd juice drank daily will definitely keep the doctor away, better than an apple any day!!  It's the same with forgiveness and repentance.  You may think that you've forgiven everyone and repented of everything but it's not a one time occurrence.  It's a daily walk.  There are certain people in my life, particularly people from my past, who always manage to stir up the old bitterness in me.  If I let it fester I could easily become that "cups half empty" person.  This doesn't mean that I'm not saved or that I'm not walking with Jesus, it's just a reminder of how much we need Jesus.  How much we need God's grace, His love, His joy, His mercy.  Just like that cup of bitter gourd juice needs to be drank every day, so we need to relive our forgiveness and repent daily.


Recently I was chatting with an old school friend.  We hadn't seen each other for 21 years so naturally we wanted to share our life experiences with each other.  She had been following my blog and everything I've been doing so she knew that it was likely that I would talk to her about Jesus.  By her own admission she liked to play "devil's advocate" challenging everything I said.  It was getting pretty frustrating as it seemed she had an answer for everything.

So we changed the subject and I silently asked the Holy Spirit to show me the way forward in this conversation.
Suddenly she reopened the topic stating how it's unrealistic the way Christians talk about everything being forgiven.  She then asked the kind of question you always hope that someone would never ask you.  She asked if I would forgive someone if they hurt my son and how would I accept if they were in heaven just because they found Jesus.

Whatever happened next was totally surreal and not something that I had ever even thought of before.  

I asked her to think of anyone whom she knew of who had lost a child through murder or a road accident or something.
I asked her to think about what happened to that person who couldn't forgive. What happened to the person who sought revenge?
Did their revenge or their anger and bitterness help them or did it slowly destroy them and ruin their entire life? Surely they may aswell have died with their child. 

We agreed that when put in those terms forgiveness was actually the selfish choice.  If you don't forgive, in the end it will kill you.
So I said choosing Jesus is also the selfish choice.  It's what's best for you, best for your family and best for your future.  Why would you not want love, joy, and peace.

Why would anyone choose death over life.  That's not being selfish, it's being stupid.

Dear Father,

Thank you for your loving kindness, thank you that you can work all things for good, thank you that you have plans to prosper us and not to harm us.  

Forgive us for not always being good stewards of everything you have given us.  Forgive us for being ungrateful and not recognising the blessings that you have bestowed upon us.  

Lord, may your word be a lamp to my feet and a light for my path.  Show me the way to the narrow gate that I may walk in your ways now and every day.

In Jesus Name,

Amen 

Cross pollination - fruit for the future.....

I'm not much of a gardener.  I love having a garden of flowers and fruit and veg but I've been a bit lazy this year, and so have the gardeners by all accounts.  But somehow interesting stuff always grows, just a few seeds strewn here and there; by the birds more often than not; and up come the flowers and the tomatoes.  Or maybe some of the seeds lay dormant in the ground from last year.  

It's always amazing how in the middle of the Bahrain desert, in areas that have lain barren for years, suddenly, after a heavy rainfall, life will spring up out of the arid ground.  Beautiful desert flowers will appear and then tall reeds will surround a glassy newly formed lake and before you know it, hey presto, we have an oasis - well almost....

How things grow has always fascinated me.  I remember at my primary school when I was about 10 years old, we planted lots of apple trees around the perimeter.  I listened fascinated as my teacher explained which trees had to be planted where because of cross-pollination.  Then when I was planning to buy some fruit trees for our first house there was again, much discussion about all the different varieties and how to cross pollinate in order to produce the best crop yields.  The act of cross pollination occurs through various means of pollen transference, the honey bee, birds and the wind being the most common and although with the best laid plans we can increase the chances of cross pollination by positioning trees of specific varieties in close proximity, there is always a chance that one tree's pollen may be carried far and wide on the wind, even across the seas.

Since living in the Middle East I hadn't thought about such complex fruity matters at all until recently.  It was quite unexpected when it occurred to me during a recent church service that cross pollination is a great model to apply to the wider church as a whole.  In our church Rivers of Joy we've been blessed with three engagements over the past two months and it was on the engagement of the daughter of one of our own members Vinu Thomas Koshy to a young man from another church NEC's English Language Congregation that I had a clear vision of cross pollination.  A wonderful transference of the pollen of one tree to another.  This was clearly going to be a marriage that would bring cross pollination between our churches.  

The vision of each church being like a different tree bearing its own variety of fruit filled me with excitement.  Our fruitful differences should be celebrated and used to bless each other for, as it says in the Word of God; 

"Our bodies have many parts, and God has put each part just where he wants it. How strange a body would be if it had only one part! Yes, there are many parts, but only one body. The eye can never say to the hand, “I don’t need you.” The head can’t say to the feet, “I don’t need you.” In fact, some parts of the body that seem weakest and least important are actually the most necessary. And the parts we regard as less honorable are those we clothe with the greatest care. So we carefully protect those parts that should not be seen, while the more honorable parts do not require this special care. So God has put the body together such that extra honor and care are given to those parts that have less dignity. This makes for harmony among the members, so that all the members care for each other. If one part suffers, all the parts suffer with it, and if one part is honored, all the parts are glad." 

No matter how far apart the churches would be, metaphorically and geographically speaking, the Holy Spirit will carry out His own special cross pollination using us, His ambassadors, to transfer the vital pollen from one tree to another, crossing continents, breaking down cultural boundaries and bridging the gap between denominations.  At a time where focus is so often on our differences rather than our commonalities we need to embrace every opportunity for cross pollination as in some cases it's almost as if the hand and the foot are no longer joined to the rest of the body.  My prayer is that through the power of the Holy Spirit we will re-unite even the most disparate parts of body of Christ. 

Yes, we all have our home churches and this is not to say that we should flit from tree to tree like a honey bee but that we should always base ourselves in the tree where God has placed us.  As well as being the vessels for cross pollination we are also in part, the blossom which produces the pollen which over time produces the blessed fruit of the tree.  Pollen is seasonal and is a by product of the beautiful blossom, just as we are here on earth for a mere season in eternity.

Looking back on the idea of bees, birds and wind as the main contributors in cross pollination it came to me that the bees are the workers, the people of the church, the pastors and indeed all of us, can ensure the future of cross pollination between the churches, the denominations and indeed the cultures.  The birds are those of us who travel to other countries on mission trips and even just holiday visits who take the time to share their "pollen" with the wider body of believers across the world.  The wind, however, is like the supernatural ability of the Holy Spirit who blows and sows the pollen from one distant land to another thus creating a new and exotic fruit for the future.  A fruit that focuses on a combination of the importance of our shared belief in Jesus Christ as Lord and Saviour and the rich diversity of our origins.  




Dear Lord,

I thank you that we are fearfully and wonderfully made, that we are all created in your image to love and worship you as the way, the truth and the life.  Thank you for diversity, thank you for making us all so different and for giving us the opportunity to live alongside those of different cultures and experiences that we may grow in the knowledge of your body and your Kingdom.  I ask that you will send your Holy Spirit to nurture our tolerance and patience towards other believers and to always allow your love and grace to fill our hearts and minds so that we can be effective vessels for building your Kingdom. 

In Jesus' Name

Amen

    

90 day challenge - do you want to be brilliant?

A few years ago I met someone who convinced me that the answer to all my problems could be found in self help books and strategic thinking.  And I have to be honest, it was pretty convincing.  

One particular book really had me gripped.  It was called "How To Be Brilliant - change your ways in 90 days", by a guy called Michael Heppell.  I read it cover to cover.  It was very positive and had me writing, saying and eventually believing statements such as; "I am brilliant because I have brilliant values that lead me to take massive action".  Looking back at this book now I am intrigued to find out what I thought these "brilliant values" actually were....  

In a sense it was all good stuff.  I had written down what I wanted to be brilliant in, and my top answer was "inspiring others".  Little did I know how much this great word "inspire", would feature in my future.  "Being happy" and "leadership" were also quite high on my list.  Well, everyone wants to be happy - don't they?  But I truly had no idea how to attain true happiness.  I knew how to get an adrenaline kick from show jumping, sailing or endurance racing and such activities did give me a certain amount of joy but nothing like I now know and experience on a daily basis.  

Whilst looking through the notes I made in the front cover of Heppell's book I found my dutifully written list of all the reasons that I had not yet achieved "brilliance".  

It seemed like I knew myself quite well after all.  I had listed such things as anger, personal negativity, lack of self control, inability to cope with emotional stress and a desire for my life to be "fixed" by someone else.  

I couldn't actually find my values though....  I had completed the book and yet I still had no real values to call my  own other than the importance of being rich, brilliant and successful.

This was all very well but how was any of this going to change just by writing it down.  It's sometimes good to be aware of your shortcomings but can we really change?  This book claims that in 90 days you can build a plan to achieve your goals.  How?  By "discovering the specific characteristics of brilliant people so that you can learn and model from the best."  

Hang on!!??  So I can only be brilliant by copying other people's strategies, values and, in effect personalities.  Well, anything is possible isn't it?  I'm the living proof of that.  My values certainly changed and it was over a mere 40 day period, not 90!  But it wasn't through reading one of my many glossy self help books or practicing the art of NLP (neuro-linguistic programming), it was through the Word of God, by His power, by His presence in my life.  

The only book that can have a lasting effect on your values and therefore your actions is the bible.  The wisdom of God cannot be matched by the work of modern or ancient man.  

I was "transformed by the renewing of my mind".  Romans 12:2 
When you are born again you put away the things of the past.  All my old values and negativities were washed away, I was purified by the blood of our Saviour Jesus Christ.  I'm not saying that the bad stuff vanishes overnight, it doesn't.  It's a process.  But when you understand that you are not changing yourself under your own strength but through the Power and Grace of God it is no longer an uphill battle because someone else is shouldering the load.  Why carry all your burdens when someone far more capable, far stronger, far more wise and altogether brilliant in every way is willing to carry them for you? 

"How to be brilliant" claims to be able to transform you in only 90 days.  I say, give those 90 days to God, let Him change you.  After all, He's the one who made you, He knows who you are truly meant to be.  

In fact, let's up the ante, let's make it 40 days.  God changed me in 40 days, let's see if He can change you.  What have you got to lose?  

Surrender your life to Jesus, let Him do the work.  Let Him repair, rebuild and restore as only He knows how.  After all, what have you got to lose.

Pray this prayer with me now and let God start to work in your life;

Dear Lord Jesus, I know that I am a sinner, and I ask for Your forgiveness. I believe You died for my sins and rose from the dead. I repent of my sins and ask You to come into my heart and life. I want to trust and follow You as my Lord and Savior. Send Your Holy Spirit to guide me and teach me Your ways.  In Your Holy Name I pray.

Amen.

Or this one...

It doesn't stop here.  You now need to allow Jesus to work in your life.  Follow the guidance of His precious Holy Spirit who will convict you in a gentle but firm way.  If you find yourself thinking twice about doing something that before you did without thinking then listen to this voice.  God can only protect you and guide you if you let Him.  

And don't forget, God has already forgiven you, when Jesus died for you.  So don't wallow in self pity and self flagellation.  Instead spend time in prayer and just wait for the Holy Spirit to bring you into His presence.

So put away those books whose covers will fade with time as will their wisdom and decide today to give God a chance.  You choose - 40 days or 90 days.  And I can be sure that before you complete the agreed time period God will have touched your life.  Be prepared for the wonder of God, expect the unexpected.  Live in a perpetual sense of divine expectation.  This is how to be brilliant - by standing before God and reflecting the brilliance of His Glory!

Send me a message if you take up the challenge!!!  I'd love to hear from you.

All you need is love.....

Our God is a God of Love.  Our God is an awesome God.  

Everyday of our lives He teaches us how to live a life of love.  He fills our hearts with His love, if only we let Him.  He wraps His arms around us, encircling us with His love through the presence of His Holy Spirit, the Spirit of the Living God, the one whom our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ asked the Father to send as a comforter.  

Because we have the Holy Spirit we are never alone.  When Jesus died for us He did not leave us.  He said, "And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Advocate, who will never leave you." John 14:16

Over the past year I have really began to understand love.  The love of my family.  The love of my son.  Love from those whom I believed did not have to love me.  How to give and receive love, and most important of all, the love of God.  

I am blessed to have been born into a loving family.  Like all families we've had our ups and downs but there was never a time when I would have doubted their love for me.  I don't think I can say them same in regards to my demonstrations of love towards them.  Sadly I recall my childhood, teenage and adult years, throughout which I was never able to really understand or show my love for my family.  I shied away from much physical contact and did not really interact in a loving way at all.

Even my ex-husband, whom I have always considered my first love, used to feel that my love for him was more of an obsession than a genuine true love.  Now I think perhaps he was right.

It was only after the birth of my beautiful son Xavier that I started to feel real love.  That all encompassing feeling, that wonderful bond between mother and child.  It was the most exhilarating and terrifying feeling that I had ever felt.  Love felt scary, amazing, but incredibly scary.

I think almost every day I was fearful that something would happen to take my Xavi away from me.  This fear only left me when I found my faith in Jesus because as it says in His word, "There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love."  To know, understand and feel God's love is a wonderful thing. 

Before finding my faith our old enemy Satan used my fear to dissuade me from trusting in God.  The evil one used scripture in an attempt to convince me that if I turned to God He would ask me to give up my son just as He had asked of Abraham in the story of Isaac in Genesis 22.  This was of course one of the many lies that the deceiver told me in order to distract me from my increasing faith.  After coming to know Jesus there was nothing I wanted more than to entrust my son into the loving care of His creator.  Who can love us more than our heavenly father?  It was He who entrusted me with this precious boy so to surrender him to God was the most natural thing in the world.

One of the most amazing things that happened to me after giving birth to Xavier was that being a mother not only taught me how to love my son but it also filled my heart with so much love for my family that I felt my I would burst.  This subsequently also prepared me to accept God's love and the love of those who were to welcome me into the family of believers.

Over the past eight months, since I started this blog, I have often written about my amazing church family at Rivers of Joy who have welcomed myself and my son into their lives and supported us through many trials and spiritual upheavals as we have grown in Christ.

They have been more than a tower of strength.  A favourite verse which was given to me by my great friend Sharon Linde from psalm 40 was such a wonderful prophesy that God has fulfilled in my life "He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand".  He really did take me out of the pit at a time when it looked like I would again lose everything and He set my feet upon the rock that is Rivers of Joy.  

Now God is teaching me to lean on Him more and not to be so dependent upon people.  This is important for my spiritual growth and I relish every opportunity to bask in His love, but the love shown by believers, both to other believers, new believers and to non-believers is not to be under-rated or underestimated.  

It is how we can best show the love of Christ.  The love that is in us because we are in Christ.  When this love is reflected into the lives of others God is glorified.  This is one of the most powerful ways we can share the message of Christ in this world and in particular in this region, through living out this love, by loving others as He loves us.  

"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." John 3:16

How much was God prepared to sacrifice for us?  How much are we prepared to sacrifice for God, and for each other?  

"Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends."  John 15:13

Many churches across the world are currently praying for and trusting in God for revival.  I think that when are hearts are filled with the kind of burning love for God and for each other  that happened in the Moravian Revival during Zinzendorf's time we will know revival.  One of their members recounts how "their hearts were set on fire with new faith and love towards the Saviour and likewise with burning love towards one another, which moved them so far that of their own accord they embraced one another in tears and grew together into an holy union among themselves".

It's the whole idea of unity being born out of love that is what God has placed in my heart.  Love is the central theme of the Word of God and should be the focus of our walk with God and how we reflect into the lives of everyone whom we come into contact with.  

"Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.  Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone.  Forgive as the Lord forgave you.  And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity."  Colossians 3:12-14

"Put on love"!!  What a great phrase.  Wear love, let love be the what we are identified with, let it be the uniform of the believer - a garment of love.  

Love is more than words, how we respond to the needs of others is a demonstration of our love.  Jesus shows us many beautiful illustrations of such demonstrative love in the bible but most of all I like to remember what the book of James teaches us in Chapter 2:14-17

 "What good is it, my brothers and sisters, if someone claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save them? Suppose a brother or a sister is without clothes and daily food. If one of you says to them, “Go in peace; keep warm and well fed,” but does nothing about their physical needs, what good is it? In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead."

To love is God's greatest commandment and therefore our main "deed" must be to love.

1 Corinthians 13:1-7 emphasises the importance of love beautifully:

"If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."

Dear Lord,

I pray that your love will descend like a raincloud over this nation washing away our fear and our reluctance to embrace cultural differences.  As your living water cleanses and refreshes I pray that your Holy Spirit will bring revival into this dry and arid land.  I pray that you will equip us to "put on love" and to bring your love into each others lives, into the workplace, into our schools, our families and our churches.  I pray for unity, Lord.  For the love of Christ to inspire unity throughout this land and amongst the churches Lord so that we can stand side by side as the true body and bride of Christ.

In Your Holy Name I pray,

Amen

Being a friend of God

Has God always been your friend?  

Do you talk to Him?  Do you know Him?  His character?  What He desires from you?  What He desires for you?

God knows you.  He knew you before you were born.  

Jeremiah 1:5 says,

"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart."

Are you comfortable with Him?  Do you talk to Him like you would a great friend, a beloved?  Is He someone you can turn to at any time, someone you can discuss your deepest fears and hearts desires with?

Perhaps you knew Him once but you moved away, became "a friend of the world", and therefore "an enemy of God".  (James 4:4)

Or has He always been a figurehead, a domineering master or angry father from whom you would rather hide your face?

Whichever of these applies to you, or even if your relationship with God is entirely inapplicable to the above, do you desire more of Him?  Do you want to be "a friend of God" like Moses and Abraham?  "A man after God's own heart" as David was? (Acts 13:22)

Over the past few weeks, inspired by our Rivers of Joy Ladies Meetings I have been studying David's relationship with God and what the concept of true friendship really means in the bible.

David spent much of his time alone tending sheep and was able to develop a deep friendship with God, which was built on mutual love and trust.  David trusted God to deliver him in times of trouble, in return God trusted David with His Kingdom.  David had faith and courage because the Lord was with him at all times.  This was the kind of friendship that would never fail.  Even when David committed great sins the Lord knew his heart and forgave him.  In his distress David complained bitterly to God, as in Psalm 22:1-6, when he felt that his cry for help was in vain.  However, even at such times of anguish David always would finish by praising the Lord (v. 22-31) and this was a great demonstration of his faith and belief in God as his friend, his comforter, deliverer and provider.

In Proverbs 17:17 it says "a friend loves at all times", which is certainly true of David and his relationship with God, and in Proverbs 18:24 it says "there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother".  

Certainly the friendship between David and Jonathan was something closer than David had experienced with his own brothers.  Son of King Saul, Jonathan was heir apparent to the throne which was then given to David when Saul fell from God's favour.  Despite this, Jonathan's love for his friend only grew and the bond between them was so strong that they never let anything come between them.

In 1 Samuel 19:1-4, "Saul told his son Jonathan and all the attendants to kill David.  But Jonathan warned him, 'My father Saul is looking for a chance to kill you.  Go into hiding and stay there.  I will go out and stand with my father in the field where you are.  I'll speak to him about you and will tell you what I find out.'"  So in this, Jonathan shows a greater loyalty to his friend than to his own father.  

Friends who love us at all times, and whose closeness to us even transcends family relationships, are rare.  True friendship demands a commitment that few of us are willing to take up.  The responsibility necessary to live up to the biblical standard of friendship is vast.

"Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one's life for one's friends."  John 15:13

Would you lay down your life for a friend?  Would you lay down your life for God?

During His time on earth an essential part of Jesus' message was that God wanted to re-establish His covenant of friendship with man, that had been broken by the fall of Adam and Eve.

In order to understand this I looked at the Old Testament idea of friendship.  In such times when two people wanted to be friends or allies, they established a "covenant of friendship."  Under such a covenant, friendship meant that you would protect the other person, even to the extent of risking your own life.  It meant that all your possessions were at your friend's disposal.  The covenant was sealed by the two people sharing a meal together.  

This is illustrated by David in Psalm 41:9 where he says to God, "Even my close friend, whom I trusted, he who shared my bread, has lifted up his heel against me."  Thus emphasising the symbolism of sharing a meal with someone as a seal of friendship.

This also helps us to understand the gravitas of Jesus sharing a meal with the tax collectors in Mark 2:15-17, and why it was so frowned upon by the Pharisees.  

"While Jesus was having dinner at Levi's house, many tax collectors and 'sinners' were eating with Him and His disciples, for there were many who followed Him....The teachers of the law who were Pharisees...asked His disciples: 'Why does He eat with tax collectors and "sinners?"  On hearing this, Jesus said to them, 'It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick.  I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners.'"

So, having established what friendship looks like from a biblical perspective, how can we apply this to our friendship with God?  Do we invite God to be with us at every meal?  Do we acknowledge Him before others who might scorn us for our faith?

When we talk about David's friendship with God I recall how when David was anointed by Samuel in 1 Samuel 16:13 "the Spirit of the Lord came upon him".  

"Then Samuel took the horn of oil and anointed him in the midst of his brothers; and the Spirit of the Lord came upon David from that day forward".

Without the presence of the Holy Spirit we cannot be in God's presence.  The Holy Spirit is His presence in us, on us, around us.  

Jesus said in John 14:16-17; 

"and I will ask the Father, and he shall give you another Comforter, that he may abide with you for ever - the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it neither sees Him nor knows Him; but you know Him, for He dwells with you and will be in you."

Hence, when we talk about friendship with God we need to understand the friendship with the person of the Holy Spirit.  He is the one that Jesus asked the Father to send to be with us at all times.  When Jesus ascended into heaven to be with the Father, He said "I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you." John 14:18

By this we understand that Jesus ensured that He will be with us always through the presence of the Holy Spirit.  

When God speaks to us through visions, dreams, his voice and scripture it is the Holy Spirit who is leading us, teaching us and encompassing us with the Father's love.

So if you haven't really acknowledged the Holy Spirit as an ever present being in your life you need to do this before you can even address how to become a friend of God.

God has always known us, He chose us.  If you are reading this then it mean He has called you to be His friend.  

If one of your old friends whom you hadn't really spent much time with, or even an old friend of your parents' or perhaps a friend of a friend, came knocking at your door you would most likely want to make up for this.  Wouldn't you take time to get to know them and let them into your life a little?  

Imagine that this old friend is God, the Holy Spirit.  It says in Revelation 3:20 "Here I am!  I stand at the door and knock.  If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with that person and they with me." 

Many of us are asking God to hear our prayers, some of us are actively seeking God and a few of us are really knocking on His door.  And yet, somehow we often fail to hear Him knocking on our door.  Are we really listening?  God's word says in Psalm 50:1 that "The mighty one, God, the Lord, speaks and calls the earth from the rising of the sun to it's setting".  If God is speaking to us from dawn to dusk then surely there must be something wrong with our "hearing", if we aren't able to hear His voice.

What if, after an hour of asking, seeking and knocking we go back to our worldly lives and miss out when God returns our call?  In the bible we are called to "pray without ceasing", 1 Thessalonians 5:17, but if you've only given God an hour of your day then how can you make up for this?  If you've spent most of your life ignoring God what can you do?  How can you restore a friendship, or build a friendship, when so much time has passed? 

By including Him in everything.  Inviting Him into every tiny detail of your life, sharing your day with Him, not just putting your prayer time into a box at the beginning and end of the day.

Perhaps we need to refocus.  Shut out the clamours of the world.  Spend time with God, as David did, make up for our absence just as we would with that old friend whom we hadn't seen for so long.  In some ways we have an advantage over David, we are part of a family of believers, so why not spend 24 hours in prayer with other believers?  Why not 100 plus years in corporate prayer as the Moravians did?  For Matthew 18:19-20 says "Again I say to you, that if two of you agree on earth about anything that they may ask, it shall be done for them by My Father who is in heaven. For where two or three have gathered together in My name, I am there in their midst."

If we really want God to answer our prayers we have to wait for Him to show up!  If you say to Him, okay "I'm not leaving until you heal my friend", "I'm not leaving until my Mum is saved" then what would happen?  Are you prepared to wait for God all day?  All night?  Or is 40 minutes enough for you to bare?

Surely if we knock long and hard God will answer as He promised.

Isaiah 62:7 says "Give Him no rest until He brings Jerusalem to the place of righteousness".

Earlier in the passage (v. 1-3) it says "For Zion’s sake I will not keep silent, for Jerusalem’s sake I will not remain quiet, till her vindication shines out like the dawn, her salvation like a blazing torch. The nations will see your vindication, and all kings your glory; you will be called by a new name that the mouth of the Lord will bestow. You will be a crown of splendor in the Lord’s hand, a royal diadem in the hand of your God."

The New Living Translation says: "Give the Lord no rest until He completes His work".  

If we are truly friends of God then we will know and understand the best time to pray such a prayer, you will know when God wants you just to worship Him.  

David knew God because He spent time with Him, because God was a part of His everyday life, not just isolated moments in his day and because of this, because God knew David's heart He anointed David with His Holy Spirit.  

God has to trust us before He can give us this anointing.  In order to trust someone, you have to know them, spend time with them, earn their trust.  In order for God to trust us, we have to trust Him.  We have to surrender everything to Him.

Father God,

I love you Lord, my strength.  You are my rock, my fortress and my deliverer.  My God you are my rock in whom I take refuge.  My shield, the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.  

Let nothing stand in the way of my relationship with you Lord.  I ask you to break any strongholds that are preventing me from surrendering everything to you.  Thank you Lord for calling me into your Kingdom, for setting me apart for your purpose.  I pray that you will anoint me and fill me to overflowing with the wonderful presence of your Holy Spirit.  

As a deer pants for the water so my soul longs after you.  Oh my Lord God, I yearn for your presence to be with me by day and by night, for the burning love that I have for our Saviour to ignite every fibre of my being.  Use me for your purpose so that I might become the friend that I never knew until the day I met you.

In Jesus Name I pray,

Amen